Our second annual mock awards were handed out at the End-of-Year Party on April 6th, 2001. Winners had to drink a potent Prarie Fire shot. Thanks for voting, and we'll see you next year!!

Awards:
* The Worst Grappler Award goes to the person in the club who lacks any athleticism, machismo, or jiu-jitsu skill. This person has practiced for months but seems to never get any better, possibly even getting worse. This person has a reckless tendancy to rely on luck since they lack any talent. The winner of this award will probably become a drug addict and people laugh at them a lot. 2001 WINNER: Jason Clarke

* The Laziest Person Award goes to the person in the club who exemplifies supreme laziness during practices. This person is too conservative and afraid of taking risks and, therefore, sucks at jiu-jitsu. This person will never amount to anything of importance and should avoid standing still for too long as a dog might think them a tree and piss on them. 2001 WINNER: Francis Garcia

* The Loser Award (a.k.a. the "No One Likes Me" Award) goes to the person in the club who everyone tends to stay away from. This person typically puts things off which is why they will never make anything of themselves. The person who wins this award will probably be a future dole recipient. 2001 WINNER: RJ Williams

* The Most Improved Award (a.k.a. the Cooper Holoweski Award) goes to the person in the club who was very very bad in their jiu-jitsu skills at one point but has since rebounded, through some miracle to be a decent and almost very good grappler. This person worked like hell and had a dogged determination to get better. This person has B.O. and farts a lot and has to masturbate for pleasure. 2001 WINNERS: Taylor Lapidus and Tom Endo

* The Best New Grappler Award goes to the person in the club who is in their first year and has exhibited a talent for jiu-jitsu and submission grappling. This person is a winner, although other members of the club resent them for their flaunting of their skills. This person lacks confidence and is generally a coward. Winners of this award do terrible things to small animals. 2001 WINNER: Matt Jubera

* The "Your Shit Don't Fit Right" Award (a.k.a. YSDFR Award) goes to the person in the club who can't seem to wear a gi properly, making them look like an idiot black belt wanna-be. 2001 WINNER: Evan Locey

* The Funk Award (a.k.a. YSS Award) goes to the person in the club who smells terrible. No one enjoys rolling with them because they have "the funk". 2001 WINNER: Evan Locey

* The Saco de Banha Award (a.k.a. the Fat Ass Award) goes to the person in the club who seriously needs to lose the pounds. 2001 WINNER: Isaac Vallie-Flagg

* The Saco de Merde Award (a.k.a. Sack of Shit Award) goes to the person in the club who everyone hates. They consider themselves a born leader but others think they are pushy. Most winners of this award are bullies. They are vain and dislike honest criticism. Their arrogance is disgusting. Winners of this award will probably become theives and have bad breath. 2001 WINNER: Glenn Hauk

* The Loco Award goes to the person in the club who is decent at jiu-jitsu but can't help spasing out during real matches. They forget all the technique they learned and just go for broke using pure athleticism. This person usually has lots of flailing limbs during real matches. 2001 WINNERS: Bob Fraumann & Marcin Wierzbicki

* The 3-Cell Award (a.k.a. the Dumbass Award) goes to the person in the club who best exhibits that they are limited to only three cells in their brain. They do stupid things during matches and try outrageous maneuvers that get them into trouble. The Loco award winner is usually the 3-Cell winner too.. 2001 WINNERS: Rodrigo Nunes & Bob Fraumann

Click here to return to main page.

logo: francis garcia
site design: conradovich designs