Common Concerns
Eating Concerns: Personal Stories
Definitions | Signs and Symptoms | CAPS Offerings | EAT-26 | Tips for Family and Friends | Personal Stories | Other LinksYou are not alone with your eating issues. In this section a few students at the University share their stories of disordered eating along with their recovery process. For further questions or concerns contact Counseling and Psychological Services at 764-8312.
My eating disorder had its roots in my toddler years. I was born a big baby and remained plump through the age of five. By the time I was in first grade I was the smallest person in the class but the idea that I was fat stuck in my head. I began to refuse to eat around age eight and was deemed picky. I didn't become an anorexic over night or even over a few years. I was becoming an anorexic all my life. My junior year in high school was when the disease became out of control. I had so many bad feelings about myself and starving made me feel better. I felt strong and powerful when I could go a long time without eating. When I couldn't starve, I would purge and use laxatives. Recovery has been just as long as the onset of the disease. I went to therapy and determined things that triggered the problem. The issues for me were my desire to be perfect, fear of being an adult, and fear of being thought of as physically unattractive. I guess the one major thing that anorexia has done is made me examine my life
I am 24 now. Through the years I continued to go back and forth starving and not starving. What really changed for me was when I got pregnant. I could not deny my sexuality, nor could I deny that I was an adult. After going through that, I made an effort to not allow my negative feelings to overrun my life. I was able to see being a woman and having a woman's body as a beautiful thing. I have not been on a diet, purged, or compulsively exercised for four years. The thoughts have never fully gone away. I know now that when I have them I have to deal with them. Rather than putting all my energy into destroying my body, I put it into working on my emotions.
I had grand notions of leaving my eating disordered behaviors behind when I started college, but they followed me and soon I was in an environment (dorm) that inadvertently reinforced my poor coping skills. I began stealing food, hiding food, and hoarding food - the obsession grew worse. I sought out university resources and ended up making use of an off-campus group therapy. I did receive a HUGE amount of help and support from the dietician at UHS. She was my saving grace in helping me learn how to eat again. I had no idea how much I "should" be eating or even what I should be eating
I never forgot anything I learned from my professional resources kept journalizing and challenging my own ego. I found great joy in learning to paint and in doing outreach programs to help other individuals in my situation. My biggest hope is to help eating disordered individuals reach the resources they need.
I can confidently say that I am fully recovered from my eating disorders. My particular recovery process has lasted close to nine years, but the joy and freedom I've gained in my recovery has made it worth the rocky ride.