The Author's Farce: A Hypertext
by Tonya Howe

{ click here for complete scansion of prologue }

 

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THE AUTHOR'S FARCE ; AND THE Pleasures of the Town .
As Acted at the THEATRE in the Hay-Market .

By SCRIBLERUS SECUNDUS
  d -- Quis iniquĉ Tam patiens urbis, tam ferreus, ut teneat se? Juv. Sat. 1.
 

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PROLOGUE. [Spoken by Mr. JONES .]

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20		 Too long the Tragick Muse hath aw'd the Stage,
And frightned Wives and Children with her Rage.
Too long Drawcansir roars, Parthenope weeps,
While ev'ry Lady cries, and Critick sleeps.
With Ghosts, Rapes, Murders, tender Hearts they wound,
Or else, like Thunder, terrifie with Sound.
When the skill'd Actress to her weeping Eyes,
With artful Sigh, the Handkerchief applies,
How griev'd each Sympathizing Nymph appears?
And Box and Gallery both melt in Tears.
Or, when in Armour of Corinthian Brass,
Heroick Actor stares you in the Face,
And cries aloud with Emphasis that's fit, on
Liberty, Freedom, Liberty and Briton;
While frowning, gaping for Applause he stands,
What generous Briton can refuse his Hands?
Like the tame Animals design'd for Show,
You have your Cues to clap, as they to bowe?
Taught to commend, your Judgments have no Share;
By Chance you guess aright, by Chance you err.
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22		 But Handkerchiefs and Britain laid aside,
To-Night we mean to laugh, and not to chide.
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26		 In Days of Yore, when Fools were held in Fashion,
Tho' now, alas! all banish'd from the Nation,
A merry Jester had reform'd his Lord,
Who wou'd have scorn'd the sterner Stoick's Word.
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34		 Bred in Democritus his laughing Schools,
Our Author flies sad Heraclitus' Rules:
No Tears, no Terror plead in his Behalf;
The aim of Farce is but to make you laugh.
Beneath the Tragick or the Comick Name,
Farces and Puppet-shows ne'er miss of Fame.
Since then, in borrow'd Dress, they've pleased the Town;
Condemn them not, appearing in their own.

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Smiles we expect, from the Good-natur'd few;
As ye are done by, ye Malicious, do;
And kindly laugh at him, who laughs at you.