Side-Shows and Animal Amusements

Oh, on your left, our second stop the sideshow. Look at the splendid banners telling of the wonders within, but be careful these sights are not for the weak. I call this tent my home. Over there is Little Tommy Too Small. He's a dwarf, but can dance a jig like a real dancer. The booth in the back is where I slept with the other bearded ladies. We practice our dances back there and prepare our selves for the show. Our preparation calls for us to fluff out beards with combs and put on oily make-ups. We are constantly bothered by the obese Scottish giants for they fancy our beards and are drawn to our excellent choreography. The booth with the huge crowd is the most masterful of all for it holds the deformed. To your left is Hugo the no armed minstrel; in the middle is Douglas No Leg, who has no skill, but we like him, and to your right Four-legged Mary. She has four legs and is a real crowd pleaser. 2

Let's continue on to and see the animals. These are not your typical horses or goats, but rather animals blessed from above with extraordinary talents. The seven-legged horse Louis is a true marvel and is still a sight for me to see. Over there are the educated horse and pigs that showcase their obedience and occasionally attempt to recite Shakespeare, but they can't talk, so that doesn't quite work. The sight of an elephant almost always amazed the crowd, but their availability is tough to find in England. Over there is Tiny, our elephant that can walk a tightrope and obeys the thrashing whip and calls of George the Tamer. Behind the Tiny is the parade of dancing monkey's known as the Banana pack. The little devils swing and sway all day and enjoy devouring all the bananas in the tent. There is sometimes a problem because the monkey will quarrel with the dogs, which are just to your left. Do you want to see our tame bear? He used to wrestle a few of our hands, but some injured actors actually tamed him and know we sell hugs by the bear for just a few pence. 3