Table of Contents

Let's Go Back In Time
Secret Unions
Legal Advice
Why Marry?
Special Quiz
Bridal Fashion
A Gentleman Speaks
Conduct Manual
Sacred Ceremony
Religious Disputes
Why Quarrel?
An English Bride

How to Weather the Hardships of Marriage

  Sometimes there are instances in which the couple may have to live apart during their marriage.  Often employment will lead to your husband to have to dwell somewhere else for a time, or perhaps he has to leave for an extended period of time on business.  To have to lie separately is allowed in marriage.  We just suggest that you try to minimize this time apart as best as you can, and in the meantime, write letters to keep up a good correspondence.  Due to this problem of desertion, please keep in mind that this is what the new marriage act was created. Marriages that occurred before the Marriage Act of 1753  was implemented often resulted in desertion and other problems in marriage.  Because of this act, problems like desertion and clandestine marriages will hopefully be abated and not even be present throughout your marriage.

  On behalf of The English Bride, we hope your marriage is a happy one and is free of problems.  However some problems often in occur in marriages, which sometimes lead to the couple to  a divorce. If you are considering a divorce, please be aware that these are extremely rare.  There are many difficulties that go along with obtaining a divorce, and for the most part it is better for the couple to just try and work them out themselves. Only a carnal sin may be reason for a divorce.

  After all, marriage is a duty in which you are benefiting the Lord as well as society.  Your sacred ceremony was the union of you and your husband in the eyes of God. This cannot be ignored. Once children have been brought in the world, it is you and your husbandís duty to stay together and properly raise them.   Furthermore, you and your husband together need to teach your children the ways of God and the Church of England.52   Having your children witness a divorce would make them see how you are being sinful in the eyes of the Lord.

  Once you have children, the entire purpose of your marriage is to nurture them and do what you can so they can grow up to be successful and helpful to society.    By the time you and your husband decide to procreate it is not only your duty to God as individuals, but the purpose of your marriage should be seen as raising your children in a moral and righteous way. 

   Once you and your spouse have procreated and your children have been born, you may have some marital problems.  However, if you are one of these unfortunate cases, you should not let this have an effect on the raising of your children.  You need to do what you can to make sure that you are a good role model for your children, and that they are raised in the way they ought to be raised. 53   They need to know the importance of dutiful parents and the importance of God and of the Church of England.  Even if you and your husband can not get along, you two need to stay together because of your children.     

  

   As to not to avoid problems in the future, you should think about the class standing you are in as well as the class standing of your future husband.  I am sure  you all know that it is a dangerous thing to mix different classes when it comes to marriages. Of course, you may want to try and marry a man who is of higher standing than you, and that is okay.  However, if you choose to marry someone who is not of your rank, this will not only lower your own standing, but your parents and friends will most likely lose respect for you.  Many young ladies think that entering clandestinely into a marriage will make it not known, but eventually this could lead to problems if the family finds out.  Hence, it is best to marry men in which you know your future and rank will be secure.

  We sincerely hope that you and your husband are wedding out of reasons of love.  However, we understand that for many young ladies, other reasons such as financial stability are the reasons you are with your spouse.  In fact, many of you were not even given the opportunity to choose your husband out of your own free will; many of your parents had your betrothed.

  But whatever the case, we recommend that you try your best to get along with your husband  After all, there could be severe issues later on if you intend to try and have a separation.  Rather it is best to just try to come to terms with your husband and work through your problems that way, or you may just do as he says and try to put your own dislikes aside for the sake of your marriage.

   

This site was completed December 08, 2000, at the University of Michigan

Any Questions? E-mail: englishbride@umich.edu