January 31, 2006

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DOES MY TEEN NEED COUNSELING?
Tom Waldecker, Director, Faculty and Staff Assistance Program 

There are times when your teen has an emotional outburst, seems sad for too many days, has bouts of anger, seems violent, or your concerned that they may have a substance abuse issue that you may be thinking about professional counseling for them.

Try, as a rule, not to wait until behavioral problems are so extreme that your chances of getting your teens cooperativeness have been minimized. In addition, avoid taking a “my teen needs to be fixed approach”. This approach can lead to stigmatizing or labeling your teen as “the problem”. A teen is part of a family system where each member affects each other. We encourage you to see the situation in a different light. When you approach your teenager with your concerns state that you are willing to participate in the counseling/family session also, and find what improvements that you can make yourself. Note that going to an objective professional counselor is an opportunity to learn some new ways to deal with some common life issues and interaction, not a place that you are sending them to get fixed.

Raising and interacting with a teenager often has many challenges and can be frustrating. When a counselor meets with a teen and yourself they will explore with you the family dynamics to get a broad view of all the issues.

To discuss issues or concerns about an adolescent please feel free to contact FASAP at 936-8660 or email fasap@umich.edu.

 

 

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Assess Your Assertiveness
Tom Waldecker, Director, Faculty and Staff Assistance Program

Have you decided that you need to be more assertive, but you still feel that you hold back on asking for what you want and at times feel guilty for asking for things you want?

One’s struggles with being assertive could mean that our beliefs about our own rights are secondary to others in our lives. Often we get frustrated and feel at a loss of what to do. It helps to get focused. To start, select a few situations that frequently occur at home or work where you feel that you want to be more assertive. Write out what it is you want to say or ask for and then practice assertive behaviors in these situations. Write down the results of each attempt and what you learned from it in a journal and track your progress. As you find some improvement add some additional situations to your “list”.

If you would like some professional assistance with learning how to be assertive with ease contact FASAP at 936-8660 or email fasap@umich.edu

 

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Reminder: FASAP Opens NEW Satellite Office on Central Campus

FASAP now has a satellite office in the Dennison Building located on Church Street between North and South University. The office is located in room 738 and is easily accessible and in a confidential setting.

To schedule an appointment to see a counselor at either FASAP’s main office at the corner of Hoover and Greene or in the Dennison location please call 936-8660 or email fasap@umich.edu.

 

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Love ‘Em or Lose ‘Em: Flexibility is Key
Leslie de Pietro, Program Manager, Work/Life Resource Center

The Wall Street Journal (11-29-05) reports that a survey of 1,200 Gen-Xers (those born from 1965 to 1980) report that they want work to be “only one component of a balanced portfolio.” They regard work as secondary to their lives outside the office. Also, unlike boomers, they will decline a promotion if it means less balance in their lives.

Sharon Jordan-Evans, co-author of Love ‘Em or Lose ‘Em: Getting Good People to Stay, found that Gen-Xers are much more inclined than boomers to leave a job if their needs aren’t met. In surveys of over 17,000 job holders, she found that everyone under 41 listed flexibility in their top five reasons for staying with the company—or in their decision to leave it, if they perceived the company as inflexible.

Experts are in agreement that managers had better pay attention to this generational shift if they don’t want to incur expensive turnover. Says Jason Walker, a 30-something Microsoft employee, “It’s hard to put a dollar figure on the autonomy I have and the flexibility. Those are huge, huge keys to keeping me happy.”

For more information about flexible work schedules please call 936-8677 or e-mail the Work Life Resource Centerwlrc@umich.edu .

 

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Do You Have a Family Emergency Plan???
Leslie de Pietro, Program Manager, Work/Life Resource Center

Katrina, tsunamis, earthquakes, 9/11. Do I have your attention???

In the face of natural disaster and terrorist attacks, it is human nature to want to bury our heads in the sand. But planning for the unexpected and creating a plan in case of disaster may mean the difference between disaster and keeping your family safe.

The American Red Cross and FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) suggest the following steps to best prepare your family in case of disaster.

1. Be informed. Do you have a battery-operated radio so you can find out the nature of the disaster in case of power outages? Do you have a back-up to your cell phone? Do you know what the emergency plans of your children’s child care facility or school, so you can easily locate them in a predetermined place?

  • Pick two meeting places—one near your home, in case of fire, etc., and one should be outside your neighborhood in case it’s not safe to return home. Make sure everyone knows the address and phone number of the location you choose.
  • Choose an out-of-state “family contact.” In an emergency, it may be necessary to make a long distance call than one to the affected area. Each family member should know the name and pone number, and call them with their location in case of disaster.
  • Discuss what to do in an evacuation, including how to take care of your pets.

The Red Cross and FEMA have a short checklist of simple steps you can take to prepare, with everything from learning how to turn off the water, gas and electricity, to emergency supplies and safeguarding your insurance and other records.

The Homeland Security Agency recommends that you have on hand:

  • Water—one gallon per person per day, plus extra for pets
  • Food—at least 3-day supply of non-perishables, plus can opener
  • Flashlight and battery-powered radio and extra batteries
  • First-aid kit
  • Whistle, to signal for help
  • Dist mask or cotton t-shirt, in even air is contaminated
  • Moist towelettes
  • Wrench or pliers to turn off utilities
  • Prescription medications, diapers, etc.
  • Garbage bags and plastic ties for personal sanitation

While there is no way to predict when or where disaster may strike, knowing that you have a plan and everyone in your family knows what it is may give you peace of mind and could be a life-saver, literally.

For help with talking with your children or elderly family members in case of disaster, please e-mail the Work/Life Resource Center, wlrc@umich.edu, or call 936-8677.

 

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Gossip - What is IT! And What to do About IT!
Sally Johnson Director, Mediation Services and Building Great Places to Work

The truth is, we ALL gossip – now and then. And the truth is – it can poison a workplace.


By definition, gossip is simply conversation about a person who’s not there in the conversation. And some gossip is perfectly harmless. For instance – you’re at lunch with some co-workers, talking about vacations, and remembering what a horrible experience Sylvia (who isn’t there) had on a tour last year. Or you’re talking about some work project, and you mention that Gary (who isn’t there) seems upset about the project – and you care enough to find out why.

Poisonous gossip, on the other hand, is the energy that creates negative workplaces. Whether it’s about one person or several, or about a whole department, it plants the seeds of distrust, creates tension and isolation, and seems to implant cynical views of the organization. The most common form, of course, is badmouthing a co-worker, behind his or her back. But that’s not the only form it takes. Maybe you recognize some of these:

  • Passing on a rumor when you don’t know that it’s true.
  • Agreeing when someone badmouths another co-worker to you. (Remember that agreement can be active or passive!)
  • After a meeting at which you have pleasantly agreed with everyone at the table, you leave the meeting with some co-worker, quietly criticizing everything that happened at the meeting.

The image these descriptions bring to mind is a malicious person deliberately trying to undermine someone else. So, it’s easy to say “that’s not me – I don’t do that – I’m not a gossip.” Here’s the catch: ALL of us have participated in poisonous gossip, even without maliciousness, and even when we were perhaps not conscious of it.

Consider this: Someone in your work area, with whom you have struggled to get along, has just done that irritating thing you don’t like for the umpty-umpth time, and your last nerve snapped. What do you do? You vent! You find someone to whom you can say, quietly, “Aaaargh! I can’t stand it!,” and in an effort to soothe you, your friend agrees with you just how awful that irritating thing is.

Or, you’ve just left a meeting at which some new procedure was announced, that you think is crazy. Back in your office you say to co-workers, “I don’t believe this place! Management never listens! This is a really dumb decision!”

You’re not trying to hurt anyone – you are venting in order to relieve stress that you’re feeling. I know. I’m guilty.

But others who overhear you will reach their own conclusions. If they respect your opinion, they may take on your negative attitude about the department. They may assume that the negative speech you’re modeling is the expected norm.

So – how do great teams stop this from poisoning their atmosphere?

April Callis, who teaches the HRD course “Gossip Stoppers,” says the first step is identifying and acknowledging your own role in office gossip.

  • Are you an eye-roller, a non-verbal way of communicating negative thoughts?
  • Are you a major player in “things are terrible around here” conversations?
  • Are you the office “wit,” quick with the sarcastic comebacks?
  • Have you EVER, in an effort to encourage or create a close tie with a co-worker, told them how they are better than some other co-worker?

Aha.

Once you have begun to keep an eye on yourself, and to extinguish your own negative contributions, April suggests moving on by involving the whole work team in a discussion about norms. Once the whole group has discussed the subject (officially, in a staff meeting or a retreat,) you can agree on signals to give each other as easy reminders – signals like saying “Oops” if a co-worker starts to pass on negative gossip, or to vent unkindly about someone else.

One team – a research team in one of the professional schools – recently held such a conversation and then just adopted the slogan, “Extinguish gossip!” as their way of moving themselves to better working relationships.

The moral is: once people are talking together about the issue, it doesn’t take a lot to begin to make a change.

For more in-depth help in talking with your colleagues about this – consider attending April’s workshop, next scheduled for May 23 (see description at http://www.umich.edu/~hrd/programsandcourses/teamdevelopment.html#4 )

Sally Johnson at "Great Places to Work" and "Mediation Services" can help make a healthy workplace – for advice call 734-615-4789.

 

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Staff Profiles
 Andrew Greifer, FASAP

Andrew joined FASAP in 2005.  Previously, he has worked in the mental health field for approximately twenty years as a psychotherapist, case manager, clinical supervisor, program manager and program evaluator.   His counseling interests include work stress management training, work performance and morale, depression, anxiety, resilience and brief counseling.  Andrew also is interested in program development and program evaluation.  Andrew enjoys the wide variety of staff and faculty issues that he works with at FASAP.  He teaches as an adjunct professor at the Schools of Social Work at both the University of Michigan and Michigan State University.  He completed a Masters in Social Work from the former and a Ph.D. in Social Psychology and Social Work from the latter.


Quandria Dabney, Mediation Services & Building Great Places to Work

Quandria Dabney is the main support staff for Mediation Services & Building Great Places to work. She schedules the mediation appointments for the director of the program, Sally Johnson and the other mediators. She also provides support to the Faculty and Staff Assistance Program. From sending out program brochures to triaging phone calls Quandria can assist all of our callers needs. She also assists the Work/Life Resource Center staff by scheduling child care referral appointments and assisting with Kids Kare Registration.

 


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Job Search Workshop Series at CEW

Job Search Workshop Series at CEW
4 consecutive Mondays: noon-1: 30 p.m.
January 23, January 30, February 6, February 13
Facilitated by CEW Senior Counselors

  • January 23 - Beginning Your Job Search: Valerie Eaglin
  • January 30 - Resumes: Sally Schmall
  • February 6 - Interviewing: Sally Schmall and Jean Tennyson
  • February 13 - Negotiating the Job Offer: Sally Schmall

Registration fee for this 4-session series is $20 and includes a copy of the CEW Job Search Handbook. Individual sessions are $10 each. Space is limited. To register, call 734-998-7080. Sponsored by the Center for the Education of Women.

 

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FASAP AND THE WORK/LIFE RESOURCE CENTER WANT TO SPREAD THE WORD

A representative of FASAP and the WLRC can come to your department or staff meeting a make a short (10 to 20 minute) presentation on the range of services that are offered by the two programs. 

To arrange a presentation please call 936-8660 and speak to a program representative.

 

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resolutions is published in January, May and September of every year. To obtain additional information regarding our services contact FASAP/Mediation Services at (734) 936-8660.

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