May 20, 2003
WHEN SHOULD YOU CONSIDER COUNSELING?
HOW CAN YOU BENEFIT FROM MEDIATION?
WHEN SHOULD YOU CONSIDER COUNSELING?
by Tom Waldecker
If you ever feel overwhelmed with emotional distress, professional counseling
may be able to help. Counselors can help you identify underlying problems
and issues, as well as assist you in finding the best ways to cope. For
example, that could mean showing you how to change behaviors that contribute
to your problems or by finding constructive ways to deal with a situation
that is beyond your personal control.
The Faculty and Staff Assistance Program (FASAP) counselors offer help in addressing many situations that cause emotional stress, including, but not limited to:
- Anxiety, depression, and other mental and emotional problems and disorders
- Family, marital/partner issues
- Career change and job stress
- Adapting to life transitions
- The death of a loved one
What
is counseling?
Counseling
is a collaborative effort between the counselor and the client. Counselors
help clients identify goals and potential solutions to problems which
cause emotional turmoil; seek to improve communication and coping skills;
strengthen self-esteem; and promote behavior change and optimal emotional
help.
Through counseling you can examine the behaviors, thoughts and feelings that are causing difficulties in your life. You can learn effective ways to deal with your problems by building upon personal strengths. A counselor will encourage personal growth and development in ways that foster your own interest and welfare. Professional counselors may work with individuals, families, and/or groups.
Who are
professional counselors?
All
FASAP counselors have at least their M.S.W. degree and have many years
of counseling experience. They adhere to a code of ethics that protects
the confidentiality of the counseling relationship; prohibits discriminations
and requires understanding of and respect for diverse background. There
are no charges for FASAP services.
How to
contact FASAP?
To obtain further information on the counseling services offered by FASAP
call (734) 936-8660 or visit the Web site at www.umich.edu/~fasap
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HOW
CAN YOU BENEFIT FROM MEDIATION?
by Sally Johnson
About
Mediation Services
Mediation is a strictly voluntary, totally confidential and very informal
process to collaboratively head off or resolve a workplace dispute. It
allows two or more parties to communicate openly and honestly about a
disagreement in a safe and structured setting.
Mediation is especially effective at the early stage of a disagreement, opening up communication before the conflict escalates. However, later stage disputes can also be resolved successfully.
Who can
use Mediation Services?
Service is available for faculty and non-bargained-for staff, regular
or temporary, on the Ann Arbor, Dearborn or Flint Campuses. Bargained-for
staff are welcome to call for consultation or referral.
Who are
the mediators?
The mediators are University of Michigan faculty and staff who are professionally
trained mediators with a solid base of experience and expertise, including
a broad knowledge of University culture and policies. Mediators can help
you prepare for very difficult conversations that need to be held with
others in the workplace, or they can meet with all parties concerned to
discuss the problem-solving process. We will assist you in identifying
a mediator who can best meet your specific needs.
Mediation is NOT Available for:
- Tenure decisions.
- Illegal discrimination or discriminatory harassment, except where the parties and the University agree that mediation may be a useful healing step.
- Serious misconduct / criminal conduct.
- Discharge from the University.
To learn more about our services, call (734) 936-8660; information is also available at www.umich.edu/~mediate
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CARVING
OUT FAMILY TIME
by Leslie de Pietro
A major demographic shift began in the 1970’s with the entry of
large numbers women into the paid labor market, leading to the majority
of middle-class, two parent households becoming dual earner households,
with two breadwinners and no designated “homemaker.” But that
homemaking job, including caring for children, running a household and
staying connected to friends and family, didn’t evaporate. The demands
are still there, despite (or in some cases increased by) technological
advances. The result is that today’s dual-earner family has become
what Kathleen Christensen, of the Alfred P. Sloan Foundation, refers to
as the “3 job-2 adult family.”
The resulting stress of these 3 jobs is inevitable. Even if the 3 jobs are equally divided, which in many homes is not the case, there would still be 1 ½ jobs per adult. Single parents have it even worse with 2 jobs per adult. We as a society need to ask, “What are the fundamental resources needed to strengthen the American family?”
Christensen posits that working families need at least three resources: family time, family space; and family wages. Of these, family time is most critical. When we look at the current structure of the work week, family time is basically the time left over from time spent at work and commuting to work. It is found in the early mornings, late evenings, and weekends. If five days a week are work time, two days a week are family time, on average. If 50 weeks of the year are work time, two weeks of the year are family time. (This does not include family vacation time, which could make four weeks per year per family, on average—or in the case of U-M’s generous policies, up to seven weeks per year.)
If we are serious about the goal of strengthening the American family, we must find ways to increase family time. One fundamental way to increase family time is to provide the means for reducing work time. We need to begin to think about how work is organized and find ways to restructure work practices so the people will have more opportunity to decrease work time and increase family time. Work then becomes a means to an end, not simply a separate sphere. We must creatively think about how work can be a means to an end with the end being family well-being.
To learn more about Work/Life Resource Center services, call (734) 936-8677; information is also available at www.umich.edu/~hraa/worklife
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Jeanne Quinn, Faculty and Staff Assistance Program (FASAP), University of Michigan
Jeanne Quinn was born and grew up in Ann Arbor, and can still render all verses of the Mack School pride song. Needing a bit of travel and adventure, she headed for California, after high school, and went to Cal Poly, earning a Masters in English Literature and a Community College Teaching Credential. Changing job markets and expanding interests brought her home, where she earned a Masters in Social Work from the University of Michigan in 1980.
In addition to an absorbing career, ranging from Child Protection to Emergency Services, and Mental Health Program Director to FASAP, Jeanne has more recently plunged into an engrossing part-time career.
She exhibits ceramic tiles and sculptures at regional art fairs, including the Ann Arbor Summer Fair. A lifelong wayfarer, she’s happily traveling her way through a long, childhood wish list of exotic and foreign locales. When not exploring castles or riding camels, Jeanne is often found writing or sculpting. She also enjoys photography and walking through Black Pond Woods with her border collie, Tess.
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Shelly
Fox Emmett, Work/Life Resource Center, University of Michigan
Shelly recently joined CUWFA as a member of the Work/Life Resource Center
at the University of Michigan. Her role is to assist faculty, staff, and
students locate and access community resources for aging or dependent
relatives and present workshops pertaining to elder or dependent-care
issues; to oversee and market our emergency and backup childcare program,
Kids Kare at Home; to assist in developing work/life-related materials
such as a W/LRC newsletter and eldercare listserv; and present information
about the W/LRC programs and offerings throughout campus.
On a personal note, Shelly adds: "I have two bosses who oversee my work at home; I am the lucky mom of two sweet girls, a 3-year-old and a 9-month-old. Additionally, I am a part-time graduate student, looking forward to graduating in May with my Master's degree in Community Counseling."
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USEFUL INFORMATION AND ADVICE FOR PARENTS & TEACHERS
You may not know it, but your child (or a child you know) may be experiencing difficulties at school because of bullying.
Bullying consists of ongoing threats, physical attacks, words, gestures, or social exclusion directed at a student or students by a student or group of students who are older, bigger, or more powerful. Besides physical bullying, there is also verbal bullying and mental bullying. The bully's pattern of verbal abuse might include: teasing, swearing, put downs, gossiping, twisting your words around, judging you unfairly, passing blame, bossing, embarrassing you in front of a group, making you cry. The bully's pattern of mental abuse includes: twisting your words around, judging you unfairly, missing the point, making you self-conscious, confusing you, and making you feel small so he/she can feel big.
Recent statistics show that:
- 1 out of 4 children are being bullied.
- Over 100,000 kids have carried guns to school.
- 1 out of 5 kids admits to being a bully, or doing some "bullying."
- 8% of students miss 1 day of class per month for fear of bullies.
- 43% fear harassment in the bathroom at school.
- 282,000 students are physically attacked in secondary schools each month.
- 80% of the time, an argument with a bully will end up in a physical fight.
- 1/3 of students surveyed said they heard another student threaten to kill someone.
- 1 out of 5 teens knows someone who brings a gun to school.
Playground
statistics
Every
7 minutes a child is bullied. Adult intervention - 4%. Peer intervention
- 11%. No intervention - 85%.
Most
Recent Bureau of Justice Statistics - School Crime & Safety
46%
of males, and 26% of females reported they had been in physical fights.
Those in the lower grades reported being in twice as many fights as those in the higher grades. However, there is a lower rate of serious violent crimes in the elementary level than in the middle or high schools.
(Source: http://hometown.aol.com/kthynoll and book, "Taking the Bully by the Horns", by Kathy Noll)
Talk to the children you know. Get involved in their lives. If you need information and/or advice, we may be able to help you. Contact us:
Mediation Services: (734) 936-4214 or visit the Web site at www.umich.edu/~mediate
FASAP: (734) 936-8660 or visit the Web site at www.umich.edu/~fasap
Work/Life Resource Center: (734) 936-8677 or visit the web site at www.umich.edu/~hraa/worklife
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DID YOU KNOW?
by Fernando Caetano, recent mediator-intern
When you are involved in personal conflict, your hands can tell you a
lot about your present emotional state. If you are about to discuss the
conflict with others involved in it, check your hands: if they are cold,
tight, clenched, sweaty or otherwise uncomfortable, you may not be ready
for a discussion. Take a few moments to stretch, massage or shake out
your hands before you trust yourself to respond reflectively.
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www.mhweb.org
Michigan Mental Health Network provides information on services and support
groups focused on mental health.
www.mpas.org
Michigan Protection and Advocacy Service, Inc. (MPAS) promotes, expands
and protects the human and legal rights of people by providing them with
information and advocacy.
http://nccic.org
National Child Care Information Center provides a collection of links
on childcare topics.
www.iamyourchild.org
I Am Your Child Foundation provides information about early childhood
development and resources for parents and caregivers.
www.aecf.org/kidscount/index.htm
Kids Count, a project of the Annie E. Casey Foundation, is a national
and state-by-state effort to track the status of children's well-being
in the U. S.
www.fatherhoodproject.org
Jim Levine, of the Families and Work Institute's Fatherhood Project, works
to help awaken us to the role of the father in the family and the impact
on the workplace of that role.
www.alzheimersdisease.com/info/tools/care_identify_resource.jsp
Order a free resource kit, including a video, on how to identify Alzheimer's
Disease and how to distinguish it from normal aging.
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resolutions is published in January, May and September of every year. To obtain additional information regarding our services contact FASAP/Mediation Services at (734) 936-8660.
Hospital employees may contact the M-Works EAP at 763-5409 for counseling service.