Breakfast of Champions
By Robot Monkey Assassins 1140 and 1001

Grease is good. When it's cold outside, what better to fill your gaping maw with than a good ol' fashioned, stick-to-your-ribs breakfast? Hot, heavy, buttered and fried - breakfast is what you've been craving, so eat 'til you puke! Ah, gluttony, in all its wonderful excess...

Ann Arbor has no shortage of quality, no-frills breakfast joints, either. Sure, we've all stood in line at Angelo's for our Sunday morning French toast, but for the intrepid breakfast connoisseur, many other culinary delights await just around the corner.

Take the Northside Grill for example. A local towniefavorite (aren't all breakfast joints townie favorites?), theNorthside lies just far enough outside campus that few students have had the privilege of gorging themselves on their huge, carbohydrate-laden home skillets (such as the aptly named "Kitchen Sink"). A beaten-up wooden diner decor, hearty homestyle cooking, and bustling weekend football business make this the perfect place to take famished family units. A monkey favorite.

For a true test of one's appetite, visit the Heidelberg on Main for their awesome breakfast/brunch buffet. They offer the standard continental fare - bacon, eggs, pancakes, waffles, fruit salad, omelettes-to-order, etc., as well as some unexpected German-American delights (sauerbraten, noodles, roasted potatoes, etc). For its hardy German beer hall atmosphere, it's awfully peaceful in the morning - just quiet enough to hear your gut begging for mercy. Hurts so good!

In the breakfast world of eggs, bacon, and sausage, veggie/vegan breakfasts can be hard to come by (and who ever heard of a breakfast salad? feh!). Thankfully, Seva provides a reliable alternative, with its tasty vegan tofu scrambles; thick, substantial homemade waffles and pancakes; and filling Mexican favorites (huevos rancheros, veracruz, etc.). With its impressive raw juice bar and health conscious low-fat, low-oil options, Seva is a nice way to indulge without the resulting food coma.

Sure, we've all stood in line at Angelo's for our Sunday morning French toast, but for the intrepid breakfast connoisseur, many other culinary delights await just around the corner.

No discussion of Ann Arbor breakfast would be complete without mention of the Fleetwood Diner, Ann Arbor's venerable 24-hour downtown greasy-spoon hangout. "Breakfast specials all day" reads the menu, and nothing tastes better after a long night on the town than a hippie hash breakfast (broccoli, feta cheese, tomato, etc. topping a bed of hash browns) at 3 AM. Many local punks call it home, roosting out front, nursing cigarettes and a bottomless cup of coffee for hours at a time. Sometimes good karma can be as nourishing as good food...

And whatever you do, don't miss Afundi's, the amazing Mediterranean cafe next to the Fleetwood. Owner Andy is a gracious host, waiting tables, kissing babies, and making sure his mother's home cooking and his service exceed your expectations. Fabulous grilled meats (shwarma, kufta), omelettes, and a relaxed, open atmosphere make this a good choice for parental visits, dates, andother special occasions where you wish to interact with your company instead of just stuffing your face.

For a quick, cheap breakfast on the run, nothing beats the Coney Island and bagel pit stops on campus. But in this cold weather, take the time to treat yourself right - clog your arteries with love.