It was reported recently that the Defense Department used the services of up to six psychics, paid with our tax money, in military and covert operations. The project, codenamed "Stargate," was used to try and determine the location of Libyan dictator Col. Khadafi, and the whereabouts of an American general kidnapped in 1981. The program also involved training psychics to sharpen various extrasensory skills. Stargate was considered a success because the psychics were right "about 15% of the time," which supposedly justified the amount of funding poured into the project. Well, I suppose they have a better success rate than President Clinton.
Continuing on the topic of military advances, Serpent's Tooth has learned that the military is developing a $5-billion dollar, 100,000 pound laser for use in destroying enemy missiles, within 3 seconds of launch, causing the wreckage to fall back down on the enemy launch site. No word on whether the new laser will be effective in zapping large, wasteful government projects, however.
Recently, Senate Majority Leader Bob Dole called for a boycott of the movie Money Train (and while Serpent's Tooth tends to agree that people should avoid this movie, it also feels that it shouldn't be for the same reasons as Dole's) because of an attempted robbery of a token-taker's booth that the movie apparently inspired. Well, Serpent's Tooth is officially calling for a boycott of the 1982 movie Reds because we wouldn't want anyone to imitate the 1917 Communist revolution in Russia, and also Ace Ventura, because, hell, nobody should be imitating him!
Recently, the U-M Regents approved the new version of the Code. Speaking against the Code as the student representative to the Regents' Board was MSA President Flint Wainess, who spoke without notes or preparation off the top of his head in a rambling, confusing manner. And we wonder why the Regents don't take the MSA and student opinion seriously...
TOP SIX REASONS TO GET INVOLVED IN STUDENT ISSUES AND VOTE IN THE NEXT MSA ELECTION
6. Two words: The Code
5. It makes Vice President for Student Affairs Maureen Hartford (AKA The "Codemaster") really, really mad.
4. To stop MSA from implementing moronic, costly, unneeded mandatory health care plans.
3. Because dammit, deep down the regents enjoy a good protest march taking over their meetings.
2. Protests give the DPS something to do besides searching dorm rooms for beer.
1. Simple formula: Low MSA voter turnout = Flint Wainess elected President.