by Benjamin Kepple
Ex-Michigan Student Assembly (MSA) President Fiona Rose can best be described as Michigan's version of Kathie Lee Gifford. After all, she's perky! She's cheerful! She's annoying, and she won't go away! And for her latest (dubious for some) achievement, she's cheerfully penned a chapter in a volume entitled So You Want To Be President, a primer for those people who would actually be dumb enough to pay $24.95 (yes, $24.95) for a 232page trade paperback on how to win a student government election.
What I find to be deeply troublesome about this and similar episodes is that, yet again, student government "leaders," who on the whole do little or nothing productive and as such seldom get anything worthwhile accomplished, are feted as if student government is actually important. MSA is, at best, a virtually useless conglomeration of wannabe political hacks, leftwing demagouges, resume packers, and two or three Normal Students who constantly wonder "What in the hell have I gotten into?" I have yet to see that participation in student government requires one to have a sense of financial acumen, leadership skills, or charisma; in fact, the only qualification that it requires is the ability to con other students to put up approximately 14 billion bland, mindless posters for you in an attempt to convince a rightfully bored, rightfully apathetic (what do they have to be excited about?) student body to vote. I find it very difficult to respect a student government system where The Opposition Party hands out slices of pizza to win votes while the candidate for The Established Party dresses up in a silly beer can outfit, also to win votes.
The publisher of So You Want To Be President is a little known private company in Florida called Oxendine Publishing. You've never heard of it for a reason: this company's raison d'etre is to produce, market and sell books, posters, magazines, and other related paraphernelia to student government "leaders" nationwide. Oxendine Publishing was founded and is run by W.H. "Butch" Oxendine, Jr., a former student of the "University" of Florida.
This naturally causes one to wonder if anyone actually takes a man named Butch Oxendine seriously. But apparently Butch thinks so highly of The University of Michigan that "a big school like yours should be in a book like this," and thinks so highly of Rose as to proclaim that "(Rose) is an atypical MSA leader." (Daily, 9/25/97)
Oh dear. Was Fiona "Fotomat" Rose a great MSA President? No. A hideous one? No. Below average? I think that is a fair assessment. Rose's presidency was chock full of scandal, mishaps, and embarassments that were on occasion dulled by an occasional triumph. If she were a U.S. President (God forbid!) she would rank with Carter and Johnson. But she is now being hailed as one of the Best Student Government Presidents Ever, and this is a grave error. While Fiona did do work to secure financial aid for students, successfully established a child care program with student approval, and even met the President of the United States (a truly disturbing precedent, but I digress), she also screwed up a lot. What is being conveniently forgotten is that Fiona was indirectly or directly responsible for:
· proposing and then agreeing to a budget that spent 56 percent of MSA funds internally. These internal expenditures included $6,407 for office supplies, $9,000 for internal copies, $6,500 for then-and-now External Relations Chair Erin "Let's Go To D.C." Carey (and friends) to go to Washington, Lansing, and other places to Lobby on Our Behalf. If the MSA wants to lobby on our behalf, give them 35 cents for a stamp and an envelope.
· making sound and responsible financial purchases with MSA money, such as the now-infamous $150 Franklin Planner, ostensibly for "Assembly business" (read: her own personal use).
· doing virtually nothing about the Code, parking problems, meal reform, tuition hikes, and other issues she promised to take care of when she was elected. Many on campus felt that Fiona was too close to Maureen Hartford to have been any benefit to students. Personally, I feel she sold us out like any typical MSA hack, but I am willing to see other opinion on this.
· forgetting that her Vice President, Probir "Funk Lord" Mehta, illegally diverted $500 of MSA money to a student group, along with doing God knows what else. As for Mehta, his main accomplishment (from what I can tell) was to hide in the Executive Office.
These are not the marks of a good Presidency. In fact, nine times out of ten, Fiona was criticized instead of applauded when it came to her actions or those of her "administration." And this is a good MSA President? My God, I'd hate to see what a bad MSA President would be like.
Let's fast forward for a minute. Current MSA President Mike "Better Weather Boy" Nagrant and Vice President Olga "Rasputin" Savic are doing a great job compared to Fiona and Probir. We've seen a slight absolute increase in the BPC budget and a 20 percent cut in the Operations budget, which is a good start. They have also kept out (thus far) of any major scandals, although I personally wonder whether they have any skeletons in the closet, slowly working free under the pressures of MSA leadership.
Now to be sure, Mike has almost certainly alienated his entire conservative constituency with his recent comments regarding the affirmative action debate. The inference he made regarding affirmative action opponents and that extremely offensive incident on campus involving a Hillel poster was completely unjustified and has rightfully angered many conservatives, who do not like to be unjustly branded as anti-Semites in so many words. His recent "Viewpoint" on affirmative action was perhaps one of the most illogical, groundless, and painful pieces of writing I have read in defense of that hideous program. It may very well be arguable that Mike and Olga have forgotten just what constituency on campus gave them a margin of victory in their election. Mike also has the stigma of attending Leadership 2017 this summer. But Mike and Olga at least have the appearance of caring about the student body, and still have the appearance of being honest and considerate, whereas I do not believe Fiona ever had, or for that matter deserved, such an image.
It might even be said that some or most student govern ment representatives actually work hard for their goals and sincerely believe in what they are working for. This is something that must be proven to the vast majority of campus if student government wants to get any respect from the most important special interest group of all: not the administration, not the Greek system, not the campus press, but the student body itself. And while "respect for student government" currently is a contradiction in terms, such as "military intelligence," or "broadcast journalism," it is a state of affairs that can be changed.
MSA needs to show that it actually has financial sensibility. The members need to show that they are aware of the needs of their constituents, and work to solve their problems. We don't care about your trips to Washington or your meetings with the President; we aren't amused by your cordial relationship with the Administration; and we aren't pleased when you lie to us or are otherwise deceptive. For God's sake, DO SOMETHING to help us. We're being squashed under the thumb of the Administration, we have no place to park, the Code of Student Conduct is lying in wait to oppress us, and most student groups have no money. That's why we elected you people, to help us, not so that you could pad your resumes.
This chapter in So You Want To Be President is Fiona's final stage of selling out, really; one could get a migraineheadache and nausea reading the praise given to her by Vice President for Student Affairs Maureen Hartford. It makes you wonder just whose interest Fiona was looking out for when she became President, doesn't it? And this is why most people have responded to Fiona's "book deal" with an unprecedented level of cynicism and scorn, because of the widespread and not-unfounded feeling that she did not represent the student body. Instead, she represented her own interests.
This makes the fact that Fiona is giving tips to possibly dozens of student government larvae out there about how to win an election in So You Want To Be President, (edited by, guess who, W.H. "Butch" Oxendine, Jr.) frustrating and annoying, because it makes you realize that a) she may be a decent candidate when it comes to running for student government, but not a decent President and b) we probably should have elected Andy Schor as MSA President back in the day. But who knows? Maybe MSA will shape up. It's possible they'll begin to be taken seriously by campus. It's possible.
Benjamin Kepple is EditorinChief of the Michigan Review. Being a rightwing ideologue has caused most people to think that he's sold out to Someone. He reports directly to The Man's District Representative.