by Rob Wood
This most recent collection of Dave Barry's funniest syndicated columns, Dave Barry is from Mars and Venus, continues the author's trend of causing his readers to die of laugherinduced asphyxiation. Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning writer, and remains of that caliber throughout the book.
From the dedication on, the stories contained within never fail to entertain. Chapters such as "Gobble, Gobble, Eeeeeeeeek!," regarding the glue-ing of turkey rectums, and "Don't Know Much About History," illustrating how to successfully B.S. your way through an LS&A History exam (it really does work Ed.), are actual attempts by Mr. Barry to commit homicide though the method mentioned in the first paragraph.
In "Gobble ...," Barry describes the owner of a super glue production company, Jim Munn, who tried to capitalize on a tip that a federal health inspector relayed to him: that gluing the rectums of Thanksgiving turkeys shut could decrease the possibility of salmonella poisoning. This fine, enterprising businessman "plans to market the product under the name - get ready - 'Rectite.'"
"Don't Know Much..." demonstrates Barry's test-taking methodology. "'The Monroe Doctrine is, without a doubt, one of the most important and famous historical doctrines ever to be set forth in doctrine form...For when we truly understand the intent of a doctrine such as the Monroe Doctrine, or for that matter any other doctrine, only then can we truly know exactly what that doctrine was intended to accomplish as far as doctrinal intention is concerned...,' See what I mean, young people? Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic, without possessing a shred of information, which is how I got a good job in journalism."
The chapter entitled "Losing Face" relates a bit more to the fun one can have when encountering severe physical pain. Dave was schnookered into participating in a variation of laser tag with his son, Rob. Being in a darkened maze, around a corner from his son, Barry foresaw two options. Unfortunately for him, he chose the option involving darting around the corner with his gun protected from "tagging," but with his face in front. His son had surmised the same options and had jumped around the corner at the same time, but with his gun out in front. Dave ended up taking Rob's gun barrel to his eyeball, going down in agonizing pain, and getting taken to the ER at the local hospital.
Each "chapter," of course, is one of Dave's weekly columns and lasts about the length of a good five-minute chat with Mr. Barry. This is a great book from which to read snippets during bus rides to North Campus, or during a quick breakfast before class. Barry has another winner, and this has already been evidenced by the book's stay on the best-seller list. It is definitely a great "light reading" collection, and something to pick up at the airport on your way home for the semester break. MR
Rob Wood is the Sports Editor of the Review. A senior majoring in aerospace engineering, Rob is pretty sure that, unlike Dave Barry, he is from Earth.