Table of Contents for 28 October 1998
Campus Affairs
SAPAC: Sex, Lies, and Statistics
by Jacob Oslick
At every summer orientation, the University welcomes new freshmen with a series of lectures on how to adjust to campus life. They are introduced to the University computer system, instructed about how to “CRISP,” and warned about the dangers of sexual assault. The last topic obviously is one of extreme importance to the University community. Unfortunately, the SAPAC (Sexual Assault, Prevention, and Awareness Center)-sponsored discussion they all attend contains immaculate falsifications and wildly inflated statistics. As a result, it creates an unjustifiable climate of fear and apprehension, instead of properly educating new students.
Michigan Politics
Proposition One Ignites Debate
by C.J. Carnacchio
On November third, Washtenaw County voters will be confronted will a ballot proposal to finance the Purchase of Development rights (PDR) from local farmers through a 0.4 mill property tax on Washtenaw residents. The PDR tax increase on all property owners would be used to create a new county department whose purpose would be to study, acquire, and administer the development rights of county farmland.
While pro-lifers often hold candlelight vigils to remember the lives that aborted children never get to lead, Students for Choice recently held a vigil to show their need for the right to choose (or perhaps mock their opponents). Some less-publicized events the organization sponsors are the annual Yom Kippur pork roast, Valentine’s Day hate rally, and Easter march in favor of the crucifixion of religious figures.
Letters to the Editor
Reader Questions "Meal Plan Scam"
from Jack F. Love
Unfortunately, what could have been an interesting exploration of what contributes to the cost structure of institutional settings (“The Meal Plan Scam,” October 7, 1998) got bogged down with some side issues that detracted from the author’s ostensible purpose. In addition, I think a sharper focus less burdened with ideology might have done a better service for the U-M community.
Letters to the Editor
Mr. Oslick Responds
by Jacob Oslick
It appears we come from two perspectives. I believe the purpose of the University meal program is to provide sustenance to students living in the Residence Halls. You, however, feel it is a welfare program to aid minimally skilled workers by paying them far above their market value. I question exactly how far your goodwill goes. Do you boycott all restaurants that pay their workers below $10 an hour? How about supermarkets? Or does your goodwill only extend to other peoples’ money — the thousands of families socked by outrageous rent?
Letters to the Editor
Reader Asks Where Bockhorn's Collar Is
from Jody Reynolds
Hey Lee, I read your article, “The Way You Wear Your Hat...” (October 7, 1998), then I looked over at your standing head — where is the collar on your shirt? A picture is worth a thousand words. I was going to count the words in the article, but you get my point, don’t you?
Letters to the Editor
Mr. Bockhorn Responds
by Lee Bockhorn
Touché. Actually, we had been meaning to change the column pictures after the first issue, but in our haste during production we neglected to do so before printing the October 7th issue. I hope you find my new picture less hypocritical, and more appropriate for a Junior Member of the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy.
From Suite One
Don't Scapegoat Cantor Tragedy
The University of Michigan community was stunned and saddened by the tragic death on October 16th of freshman Courtney Cantor. Unfortunately, the circumstances surrounding her bizarre death, which resulted from a fall from her sixth floor dorm room window at Mary Markley, seem to ensure that her death will not be an inconsequential one.
From Suite One
Defend Israel Now
As we go to press, it appears that yet another handshake ceremony will take place on the White House lawn, uniting Israelis and Palestinians in a new interim agreement. Although the Review sympathizes with efforts to find an equitable peace, we consider it imperative to consider the history of Yassir Arafat’s promises starting with the original ceremony on the White House lawn in September of 1993. The same day as Arafat’s historic handshake with the late Yitzhak Rabin, he appeared on Jordanian television. There, he described his peace pact with the Israelis as similar to Mohammed’s treaty with the Koreish (an Arab tribe). For those unfamiliar with Arabian history, Mohammed broke his word a few years later, and slaughtered everyone in the tribe. Ever since that fateful day, Israeli-Palestinian relations have followed a predictable pattern. Israel exchanges territory for Arafat’s promises, Arafat continues to incite violence, Hamas responds with a terrorist attack, the U.S. expresses sympathy, but reminds Israel not to let terror interfere with the “peace process,” and Israel once again exchanges more territory for the same unfulfilled promises.
Send Lawyers, Guns, & Money
"The Man" Speaks
by C.J. Carnacchio
The Michigan Review is proud to present an exclusive interview with “The Man.” Ever since the 1960s, we have all heard leftists complain about how “The Man is keepin’ us down!” The Man is responsible for everything from racism and sexism to Third World imperialism and poverty. The Man is the leader of the vast right-wing conspiracy against President Bubba. It was The Man who undermined communism and prevented the world from becoming a worker’s paradise. It is The Man who framed Mumia and keeps him imprisoned to this day. And now, without further ado, direct from his secret underground bunker in parts unknown, here is a chat with The Man:
Lanterns & Lances
Shepard Tragedy Becomes Political Fodder
by Lee Bockhorn
There are a lot of things you can’t count on from the Left in America these days: intellectual coherence, patriotism, and lack of hypocrisy (see feminists and Bill Clinton) come to mind. However, there is one particularly astounding tendency of theirs that is as predictable as a Clintonian lip-bite: the cunning use of individual tragedy for political gain. Recall the Democratic Convention of 1996, when a teary-eyed Al Gore told of his sister’s harrowing death from years of smoking. (Nevermind his continued acceptance of political contributions from those evil tobacco companies after her passing.) That same convention also witnessed the shameless parading of newly paraplegic actor Christopher Reeve to hustle votes for the moral cripple currently residing at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
Campus Affairs
Diversity and Liberal Arts at U-M
by Benjamin Rousch
The University of Michigan has become obsessed with diversity. It seems like every time you read a quote from the administration, it has some comment reaffirming the University’s commitment to providing the most diverse education of any institution. The administration believes that a diverse education can be achieved by injecting “diversity courses” into the traditional liberal arts curriculum of the College of Literature, Science, and the Arts. The U-M's preoccupation with diversity is threatening the quality of education that students receive, and may be distracting administrators from thinking about the aspects of a liberal arts education in today’s technology-driven workplace.
Campus Affairs
Days of Action ...
by Brian Cook
It did not take long for the Undergraduate Women’s Studies Association (USWA) to lose their credibility with me. As I arrived to observe their October 22 rally with the Coalition To Defend Affirmative Action By Any Means Necessary (BAMN) on the steps of Angell Hall, I was handed a small slip of paper contrasting the suspensions of Marcus Ray and Jason Brooks.
Campus Affairs
... Dead on Arrival
by Amol Parulekar
Ah yes, there’s nothing like a little protest now and again to stir things up on campus. Last Wednesday, October 21st, the University once again honored “Don’t let your child go to class day,” also known as the “Day of Action.” This groundbreaking, Chicago-Sevenesque demonstration brought in close to 200 people (I’m pretty sure that Roxbury movie brought in more people) to support the defense of affirmative action on campus. Now although it might sound as if I’m mocking these people, I must say that I do have a certain level of respect for them. Their crusade, for those of you have haven’t had their wares thrust upon you as you go through the Diag, is to level the playing field in “Amerikan” education, and they have accomplished just that. By skipping class to protest for something the school supports, they didn’t learn anything that day, and by trouncing around campus yelling and screaming, they disrupted the classes in their path, so nobody could learn anything. Ignorance for all. Congratulations, mission accomplished!
Politics
Liar, Liar
by Matthew Buckley
No doubt about it, I am a political junkie. Any news show, pundit program, or public affairs special you can name, I have probably watched. Heck, I even know the differences between C-SPAN and C-SPAN2, which has to put me in a very small class of people.
Foreign Affairs
Left-wingers Take Power in Germany
by Jay Figurski
Legend has it, back in his days as a member of the German parliament in the 80s, Gerhard Schroeder stood in front of the chancellor’s building in Bonn and yelled “I want to get in there.” Well, his wish came true in Germany’s federal elections this September, with Schroeder’s Social Democratic party winning 41% of the votes. Incumbent chancellor Helmut Kohl’s Christian Democratic party, which has been in power for sixteen years, suffered their worst election results in forty years, taking a mere 35% of the votes.
Satire
Hulk Hogan Next on Fieger's Agenda
by David Guipe
Yes, the big midterm elections are right around the corner. That’s right, in just a few short days, a whopping three percent of all registered voters will go to the polls and vote for their favorite candidates. Prospects for Republican candidates look especially good in the state of Michigan this year. You see, this year Michigan Republicans have a secret weapon. A weapon that is guaranteed to bring the Democratic Party to its knees and deliver virtually every state office into the hands of the GOP. That weapon is Geoffery Fieger.
Sports
Whither the Powerhouses?
by Hal Borkow
Parity reigns throughout college football this year. The 1998 season has treated pigskin fans to numerous upsets. Of The Sporting News’s preseason top five, only Ohio State has remained undefeated.
Living Culture: Film
Winfrey Successful, Again
by Tom Jolliffe
To many folks, Oprah Winfrey is the decade’s premiere heroine; an inimitable paragon of ambition and good nature. While her television talk-show has not always been above the regrettable subjects for which daytime programming is so notorious, the decency of its host is a saving grace. In that milieu, only Geraldo Rivera approaches Oprah’s sincerity, and none touch her empathy. With her various dimensions of character and ability, Oprah remains fresh in the public view.
Living Culture: Music
Heather Nova: A Modern Day Siren
by Chris Hayes
Heather Nova seems to be one of the lucky ones who has it all. Her childhood seems like a dream come true, splitting time living in Bermuda and traveling on a sailboat. She was probably adored by the guys due to her combination of natural beauty and creative intellect. She went to college in Rhode Island and then moved to London to take a stab at music. And it worked, as she was discovered playing a gig in London. Her first album in the states, Oyster (1995) received critical acclaim and established a fan base. Her latest effort, Siren, released this summer on WORK/Sony, is getting the same with two singles already released. She has the talent to perform a live set to perfection, with power and energy, yet create an album that is beautifully seductive in its subtleties. Yeah, she is damned lucky.
Living Culture: Music
The Funk Soul Brother
by Michael Austin
As one of only five stops in the United States, techno-music DJ Fatboy Slim stopped off at the Motor Lounge in Hamtramck to promote his new album, You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby. Slim got the crowd moving right from the start, with “Everybody Needs a 303” from his first album Better Living Through Chemistry. The big-beat style continued as Slim showed why he is one of the hottest DJs in the world. The crowd was treated to a number of songs off the new release, such as his next single “Gangsta Trippin,” all of which included samples ranging from Public Enemy to Young MC.