The Michigan Review

Foot-in-Mouth Fieger Spouts Off

by Matthew S. Schwartz

The Michigan gubernatorial race has been touted by many as the most exciting race in the country. That is due in large part to the feisty and fiery Democratic candidate, Geoffrey Fieger. Fieger, a U-M graduate in theater, is best known as the passionate trial attorney who has successfully acquitted Doctor Death Jack Kervorkian numerous times. The unusual thing is, Fieger has stated in numerous interviews that he doesn’t even want to be governor! But, as he says, “there comes a time in your life when you have to give something back, and I feel it’s time. I think I’m as qualified as anyone.”

However, the voting public would tend to disagree. Engler has consistently crushed Fieger in the polls, most recently beating Fieger by a ratio of 2-1. The large margin Engler enjoys could be due in part to voter outrage over Fieger’s interesting campaign tactics. Instead of posing ideas and solutions during campaign speeches, Fieger instead has a tendency to badmouth his opponent.

Adam Silver, President of the U-M College Republicans, said that the only purpose behind Fieger’s childish remarks is to draw media attention. “But what he’s drawing isn’t positive, it’s negative, and the voters seem to be responding (negatively) to that. Come November 3rd, there should be no reason why Engler isn’t in his third term as governor.”

For your reading pleasure, we now present a partial compilation of Fieger’s most memorable slanders against Engler’s character, as well as a few other zingers. The quotes have been arranged in story format for optimum effect. And keep in mind, Fieger is an actor at heart, so to get the full effect of these pearls of wisdom, we recommend that you read the quotes aloud, red-faced and hyperventilating, while pacing about the room.

Engler Attacks, Part I:

• “John Engler has never held a real job in his life. The only experience he has is robbing you, cheating you and lying to you. He’s the biggest crook there is in this state.
• “He’s a man of mediocre intelligence who’s never done anything in life but suck off the public trough.
• “He’s a man who can’t think on his feet… he’s a man who really is not competent or capable of leading this state.
• “He’s a bully, just like Mike Tyson, picking on people (smaller) than himself. The only difference is that Engler is stupider than Tyson.
• “He’s a cheater, a liar and a coward.
• “I’m telling you, John Engler is an SOB.”

Silver said that “these are just things you don’t do in politics. Everyone should have respect for their opponent, whether they agree with their values or not… it’s really sad when a candidate can’t even show respect.”

Besides, said Silver, these quotes describe Fieger better than Engler. “He’s been a liar before, he’s cheated in his way, judge shopping, so actually I think that he is describing himself before John Engler.”

Kelly Boland, President of the U-M College Democrats, doesn’t think that anyone should judge Fieger based solely on off-the-cuff remarks that he says without even thinking about it. “I think it all comes down to the issues and how he stands on the issues.”

Boland thinks that the media is irresponsible for focusing so much on Fieger’s insults. “I understand why his tactics are so novel to the media and they report on it a lot, but if they didn’t, they would get to the heart of the issues and you would see that he’s right in line [with party policy].”

Engler Attacks, Part II:

• “I don’t know how African Americans can vote for Engler. That’s like Jews voting for Adolf Hitler.
• “I wouldn’t be running for governor if the guy wasn’t a racist, dumb boor.
• “[He’s] the result of miscegenation between human beings and barnyard animals.
• “Unless [Engler’s children] have corkscrew tails, those are not his kids.”

Those last two quotes earned Fieger a lot of negative media attention. Many people believed that he was definitely going too far, claiming Engler to be half-human, half-barnyard-animal, and questioning whether or not he is really the father of his triplets.

When questioned, however, Fieger had a very sensible explanation: “Prior to announcing my candidacy for governor, I made various ad hominem attacks upon the man because he appears in many respects not to have human qualities.”

Fieger also claimed that latter statement was aimed at the governor, not his children.

Whether aimed at the governor or at his children, does Fieger have the right to make such offensive personal attacks against the governor? “I don’t think it’s my place to defend him,” said Boland, “and I don’t necessarily think that it’s necessary, either. It’s just his style … it’s just the way that he is.

Other Attacks

For all who think that Fieger has been pretty hard on Engler, you can take comfort in the fact that his insults are not confined to the governor:

• Jesus Christ is “…just some goofball that got nailed to the cross.”
• Cardinal Maida, the head of the Catholic Church in Michigan, is a “nut.”
• “Rabbis are closer to Nazis than they think.”
• “Sure, I smoked marijuana. And I inhaled. I’m not a liar like Clinton.”

Fieger took extreme offense to the way his Jesus remark was quoted in the media, claiming that he never said that. “I was talking about how history doesn’t always treat heroes kindly and tends to change,” Fieger said. “For example, the people who nailed Jesus to the cross thought he was just a goofball and a thousand years from now Elvis may be considered God by a few.”

Boland was also angry about the tactics Engler used, quoting Fieger out of context in television commecials. “Fieger never called Jesus a goofball. In [Engler’s] commercials, they took out half a sentence and put a few words together and it had nothing to do with the quote at all. [Engler’s] playing just as many games as Fieger is.”

As for calling the Cardinal a “nut,” Fieger has a very good excuse: “Some of the things that he says appear to be nutty to me.”

Fieger likened rabbis to Nazis when he heard that the Council of Orthodox Rabbis of Greater Detroit equated assisted suicide to murder.

And one may find it odd that Fieger would insult the President of the United States, a member of his own party, but Fieger was trying to tell people that he is not a sneaky, lying politician like many others.

“The issues, when he does speak on the issues, are right in line with the party,” said Boland. “He’s pro-choice, he’s pro-environment, he wants to help people who have been put out of mental hospitals, he wants to stop building so many millions of dollars worth of jails, he’s got great policy. He’s got the right stance on issues. And I think that if the media got past his mud-slinging and reported on the issues then people would know more about it.”

Perhaps the media is having such a hard time getting past Fieger’s mud-slinging, however, because it seems to be the only thing the Fieger is doing. “The only war he’s waging is a war of words,” said Silver, “and it’s something the voters aren’t agreeing with at all… everyone’s sick of Fieger’s childish games.”

Boland disagrees. “I think that what the voters are more sick of is Engler’s childish games and the bad policy that he’s put the state through. I think that’s more of an issue right now. It’s not Fieger’s tactics; it’s Engler’s bad policy.”

But she is worried that Fieger’s numerous insults against Engler may have fatal repercussions with the voters. “I think if that’s all that they hear about Fieger, then that’s definitely going to have an effect,” she said.

Whether the voters are sick of Fieger’s childish games or Engler’s bad policy, one thing’s for certain: whether or not Fieger wins or loses, we are all in for at least a few more weeks of trashy, Jerry Springer-style entertainment out of this wild and unrestrained candidate. MR

This article was published in the 7 October 1998 edition of The Michigan Review (Volume 17, Number 2).
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