Table of Contents for 22 April 1998

Headline
Take Back The Night Marches in Ann Arbor
by Josh Benninghoff

The night of Saturday, April 18th was not about any social issue; it was about women, for better or for worse. Shortly after 7:00 p.m., student activist Brenna DeVaney's introductions commenced the Nineteenth Annual "Take Back the Night" march and rally. Although the Ann Arbor Coalition Against Rape (AACAR) organized this event in just over a month, popular support for this event was apparent in the crowd gathered on the Diag. Some came expecting TBTN to specifically address sexual violence, including rape; but the purpose of TBTN, as stated in their literature distributed at the rally, is to make the following proclamation for women: "we will be safe, we will be strong and we will be free. The TBTN March is a symbol of our collective commitment that there will come a day where women and children will no longer need to fear male violence."

Campus Affairs
U-M Commencement Honorees: Who Are They?
by Lee Bockhorn

Students at university commencements are accustomed to seeing big-name speakers. In the past, the University of Michigan has enjoyed its share of notable commencement speakers, including the likes of President George Bush, First Lady Hillary Clinton, Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor, and Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist Toni Morrison.

Serpent's Tooth

The University of Michigan was the recent focus of a massive April 15 article by The Detroit Free Press with regards to our simmering affirmative action debate and our ever-present racial tension. However, even we weren't expecting the proponents of affirmative action to hand us the intellectual battle on a platter like that. One student supporter of affirmative action, Michael Blair, said:

"You hear buzz words like 'earn' and 'hard work' ... It's become an issue of who deserves to be here."

Serpent's Tooth
Unharmed, Kepple Walks From Major Accident

In a surprise develop­ment on Tuesday, April 7th, Review Editor Benjamin Kepple walked away unharmed from a major car accident involving his 1997 Ford Taurus GL and two very large semi-trucks. Many students and administrators at the University were jubilant upon hearing news of the crash, but their joy turned to amazement as it came out that Kepple suffered only a small cut on his knee. The crash, which essentially destroyed Kepple's car and did virtually no damage to both trucks, summoned over a dozen emergency vehicles and closed eastbound I-94 for close to an hour.

Farewell to The Michigan Review's Graduating Seniors

Benjamin Kepple, editor­in­chief, is graduating with a B.A. in History. We're still amazed that he got an actual, paying job with a liberal arts degree. Still, if the job doesn't work out, he can always fall back on professional gambling or stuntdriving. Having tormented the U­M administration for 4 years at the Review, Ben's last official act of defiance will be to streak naked at Commencement while holding aloft an American flag and shouting"Live Free Or Die!"

From Suite One
Speaker Choice Uninspired

The University has had a very exciting and pride­inspiring year. In 1997­1998 the U­M has seen two national championships and other major successes in athletics, a championship in college bowl, a Rhodes Scholar, a successful Year of the Arts and Humanities, the successful completion of a one billion dollar fundraising campaign, and the usual academic success that the University is accustomed to, with its fine faculty and researchers.

Commentary
Budget Up in Smoke
by Matthew Buckley

When the nation's biggest tobacco companies, Phillip Morris and RJR Nabisco (the "Big Two"), pulled out of the national tobacco settlement, they missed making the announcement on April Fool's Day by two days. For those who enjoy irony, it was a shame, since the collapse of this deal splashes egg on a lot of foolish faces.

Lost In The Eighties™
It's Not Your Father's Farewell Column
by Benjamin Kepple

All right, listen close. I'm not going to stand here and wax poetic about the wonders of working at the Review, nor am I going to (or would, believe me) complain, a la the Daily Arts staff, how much I hate living in Michigan and how much I will enjoy spitting in the faces of Michiganders everywhere when I graduate, given that this is my final column. You deserve much better than that for bearing with me the past two and a half years ye Gods that I've written Lost In The Eighties, and as usual, I'm going to heap on the vitriol for one last, sweet column. The University of Michigan is a great school. I'll probably never look fondly upon my actual schooling here, but it is a great place to go to college. After all, it allowed me to get involved with the Review, which has allowed me to make a lot of friends and meet a lot of interesting and fun people I hope to keep in touch with. But before I go, here are some parting shots regarding:

Send Lawyers, Guns, & Money
Earth Day & Eco-totalitarians
by C.J. Carnacchio

Well, once again its time for everybody's favorite leftist/statist holiday, Earth Day. Time for all those neo­hippies, Marxists, and general liberal do­gooders to strap on their Birkenstocks and do their best Chicken Little impressions. This is a particularly special Earth Day, since it is taking place in the shadow of the University's Environmental Brainwashing Semester. Today, all those little School of Natural Resources and Environment eco­stormtroopers will be out in full force preaching the coming of an environmental apocalypse.

Lanterns & Lances
Safetygirl: Trash TV, Ann Arbor Style
by Lee Bockhorn

Spring has finally arrived in fits and starts here in Ann Arbor, and the masses have taken to the streets in sweats and sneakers, looking to shed a few pounds before summer breezes into town. Watching the throngs go forth to jog or rollerblade, one sees a demonstration of one of modern man's telling traits: as we become less concerned about the trash that goes into our brains (Jerry Springer et al), we attempt to compensate by becoming extra-vigilant about our bodies. Witness the recent uproar over tobacco, the scores of infomercials for "bun and thigh sculptors," and our anguished realization that every item on the grocery store shelf is proven to cause everything from baldness to diarrhea.

Campus Commentary
Take Back the Night from Feminists
by C.J. Carnacchio

Let's skip the flowery introduction and the usual lead into the article and get straight to the point: the Take Back The Night (TBTN) March is not about combating the criminal act of rape by taking substantive measures to make the streets safer or dolling out harsher sentences to rapists and other sex offenders. The march is about using rape as a political vehicle to advance a radical feminist and anti-male agenda. The organizers of this sham event should be ashamed of themselves for politicizing rape. They not only demean the women who have been victimized, they also trivialize the act of rape itself.

Campus Computing
Survive the Summer With Email
by Benjamin Rousch

Are you going home to Mom and Dad for the summer? Have you become an email addict? Do you wonder how you will ever make it though four months without the internet? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then this is the article for you. Within you will find out how to connect to your email and even the rest of the internet from your hometown. It really is easier than you may have thought, and you may even pick up some useful Internet jargon. The only things you need are a computer running Windows95, WindowsNT (Mac users are on their own, and Windows 3.1 users should realize it's almost the 21st century) with a modem, and parents willing to let you tie up the phone line while you surf the web.

Serpent's Tooth
NEW! From The Michigan Review Press!

Join Review Editor Benjamin Kepple as he gets locked in a kitchen with local vegetarian activist Emily Strauss! The actual product of a 48 hour experiment in close contact, see the high-fat, high cholesterol dishes that have made Ben the walking health disaster he is today! Contrast those with the no-fat, no-satisfaction dishes prepared by Emily! 128 pp., photos: including 12 plates of close kitchen combat involving skillets, blenders, and other sharp objects. $19.95.

Hoops Du Jour
A Wildcat Wins Title Again
by Andrew Golding

San Antonio - Three weeks of exhilarating athletic competition ended here on March 31 as the Kentucky Wildcats defeated the Utah Utes to win their second men's college basketball championship in the last three years.

Hoops Du Jour
Basketball Notes
by Andrew Golding

It Is Draft Time: The upcoming NBA Draft is one of the weaker in recent memory, with no franchise players such as 1997's Tim Duncan and Keith Van Horn. Kansas' Raef LaFrentz and Paul Perce will likely be among the first five selected, along with Arizona's sophomore point guard Mike Bibby. Saint Louis' 6'5", 180-pound freshman guard Larry Hughes is an unquestionably talented player, but a bit slim, as is 6'10", 212-pound high schooler Rashard Lewis. Michigan's Robert Traylor is rated as the 11th best player by ESPN's Chris Monter, who writes that "Maybe an NBA training camp will get him into shape." U­M's Jerod Ward is rated 57th, and Maceo Baston 65th.

Living Culture: Film
A Perfect World
by Kristina Curkovic

Nina and George believe they can build a perfect world together, raising Nina's child and living in the blissful friendship that has been the backbone of their relationship.

Living Culture: Film
Wild Things: Wildly Unreal
by Matthew Buckley

It seems that Florida specifically, the fictional city of Blue Bay in Wild Things has a far superior public school system than my home state of Iowa (specifically, Des Moines). They have auditoriums with comfy padded chairs, where police officers come to hold discussions of sex crimes and how to prevent them. They have sailing teams with a fleet of sparkling school­owned sailboats. They have a wealthy elite that generously sprinkles the school with money. In Des Moines, and for most of the real world ... you get the picture.

Living Culture: Books
U-M Prof. Tanter Studies "Rogue Regimes"
by Matthew W. Fogarty

As President George Bush presided over the fall of the Berlin Wall and with it the era of the East­West Cold War the United States and its allies found themselves at a loss with regard to international affairs. For the first time in more than a half century, there was no singular enemy and no specific "clear and present danger" threatening U.S. interests. In August of 1990, however, Saddam Hussein stepped into the spotlight. Hussein ushered his troops into Kuwait, "reclaiming" the nation as their own. The rest of the Iraq­Kuwait story is well known. The military strength of the Iraqi government was not so much the trigger of fear among the allies as was the personality of the man now known simply as "Saddam." In his new book, "Rogue Regimes," (St. Martin's Press, $29.95) University Professor Raymond Tanter explores the nature of Saddam's government among his examinations into the post­Cold War threats facing the U.S. and its allies.

Living Culture: Books
Fry's History Needs a Deeper Look
by Kristina Curkovic

In his two previous books, author/actor Stephen Fry delved into frivolous and hilarious topics ranging from British boarding schools in The Liar to pseudo­miracles in The Hippopotomos, the latter being the better of the two and still better than Fry's latest novel, Making History. The three books together show us that Fry finds a better­fitting niche in frivoloty than he does in any serious undertaking in studying history's worst moments.

Living Culture: Music
Sarah McLachlan: Breathtaking
by Robert Wood

There is a star rising from the North, specifically, from Halifax, Nova Scotia, and it has already begun to spread light upon the previously­decaying landscape of popular music. She has been on the rise since her discovery in 1985 and the release of her frist heavenly creation, Touch, in 1988. Sarah McLachlan, while generally considered a spokesperson for women's music, has really revitalized the entire pop music scene with ehr intimate, thought­provoking lyrics and sensual, angelic voice.

Living Culture: Music
San Fran's Hot Surf Band
by Michael Austin

Whether or not you know what it is, chances are you have heard surf music. Whether in Dick Dale's "Miserlou" of Pulp Fiction fame or the endless car and beer ads on television, suffice to say that you'll know it when you hear it.

Living Culture: Music
Interview with Phil Dirt
by Michael Austin

As a fan of the Genre for 35 years, and a producer for 10, Phil Dirt knows surf music. We had the chance to ask his opinions on the music and the industry. Additional information and his radio show are on the web at www.spies.com/reverb/central.html.