Global Blue - MBA2

Section 1

OK, team, business first. So, you're feelin' sad cause we don't see each other in corp strat anymore? Well, fret no longer, because our second annual Section 1 Class of `96 Potluck Dinner has been scheduled! Mark your calendars for Friday, November 17 at 7:00 p.m. for the biggest event of the year! The dinner and socializing will be hosted by our mayor, Corey D. Of course, he can't fit 120 people into his apartment (but hey, that could be the contest of the evening: How many people can we fit in Corey's apartment??), so the event will be held at the Harbor House Apartments clubhouse. Watch your mailfolders for the details and directions from our social chairs Feroz, Bruce, and Corey - they'll also tell you what kind of food to bring. Hey Trudy: you better make a double batch of the mmmm, mmmmm good green Jell-O that was such a hit last year! The key event of the evening will be the photographic recording of our section for all of posterity. So, if you're not there, your picture won't be in the yearbook!!!! So, be there, or be forgotten!

As they say, "The freaks come out at night," and true to form, Section 1 turned up at the Halloween Party stealin' the show and leavin' some great stories behind. First of all, nice legs, Slappy! You never let us down, Craig W.! Of course, Joerg W. and Bob S. made their annual appearance as Hans and Franz - what's wrong guys, fresh out of new ideas? You must of had some great success with the costumes last year. How'd things fare this year, Bob? Rumor has it that you left the party early -- wait, did we hear correctly that our own Bob S. left a party - any party - early? No, say it isn't so! You must have been pretty unhappy and frustrated to let that happen! We also heard that Joerg was so excited to get to the party that he left his parents, who were visiting from Austria, all by themselves at Touchdown Cafe! Not at Gratzi's, or the Gandy Dancer mind you, but at a beer covered table playing quarters with a bunch of drunken undergrads! Boy, they sure must have a stellar impression of the intellectual level of American graduate students! Word has it though, that they jumped right in to the American college scene and were seen at the football game throwing marshmallows at the Minnesota Golden Gopher!

Job search tip o' the week from our professional job search consultant, Sandra M.: When a company interviewer asks you: "So, Sandra (insert your name here), what do you hope to get out of your second year in business school?" the most appropriate answer probably is not the one that happened to be used in this particular situation, which was succinctly: "A job!" While the interviewer will undoubtedly applaud you for your directness and candor, he may question your heartfelt desire for working at his company. `Nuff said!

Watch out Wolverines! The Section 1 Intramural teams are on the move! The this year's team record is at 2-0 led by that dynamo Laura E. Girl, where'd you get that arm? We needed you at that Northwestern game! The other lovely ladies of our section have helped to contribute to our patented "chick plays" (a term coined by the participants, we might add), through the dual threat of Melissa L. and Megan B. No one messes with them! And how about Casey C. and his multiple TD's! Is there any sport this man can't play?! Forget about Neon-Deon, we have the "Tower of power!" Go Blue Section 1!

And now for our second installment of our "Hard Luck Case of the Week." Upon surveying the nominees for this week, we had several candidates to choose from. First, Corey felt he qualified due to the car problems he's been experiencing. However, having your Porsche in the shop is not too much of a hardship, my friend. Try again next time. We also felt that Joerg's parents may qualify, due to their abandonment at Touchdown. But, they seemed to fare pretty well in having a good time. So, we are honored to give this week's award to the one and only Bob S. Bob, who is our party mainstay, a stalwart in the socializing medium, and a leader and role-model in the UMBSA, had one tough time at the Halloween party and just had to bail early. Hang in there, man! We hope this hard luck doesn't last, because it ain't a party without ya!

Section 2

As usual, we'll start with the good news: Andre G. and Sarah M. are engaged! Congratulations to both on the first permanent intra-section relationship--we're impressed they were able to keep it secret for so long! Other section 2ers were overheard to comment, "So, Sarah finally made an honest man of him," while Sarah herself admitted, "He doesn't really know what he's getting himself into" (paraphrased). We understand the project management skills they gained at the B-school will be put to the test, as they are planning a June wedding (yes, that's 1996).

On the social scene, we'd love to dish out the dirt on the Halloween party, but no one who was there seems to remember anything about it! We think this is the sign of a really good party, but we can't quite remember ourselves.

On the sports scene, the co-ed flag football team won its first game, 12-0. Adam scored twice, once on Julia's pass at (oops, we mean "to") him, and once by passing to Dwight F. (much to the dismay of his wife, who was standing on the sidelines). Jon K. was the Dirty Dumpster Dwellers' ringer for the evening, and Akeo, although enthusiastic, is apparently still learning the distinction between "flag" and "tackle" football.

A final note - your Global Blue reps want to publish the best stories of the interviewing season in the next column. Please email or tell us the best and/or worst things that have happened to you (or your friends) in an interview. Also, now that corp. strat. is over, we need your input on section news more than ever; this column is way too short. Think of it as good practice for next year.

Notable and Quotable:

"Don't `dis' me, Jim." -- Professor Brophy to Jim Tish, in a very hip-hop moment during venture capital.

Section 3

Well it's been a couple of weeks since we had our last class and final together. Is anyone experiencing section withdrawal? Thanks for taking the time in your busy schedules and turning up for the section photo last Wednesday. We will figure out a good way to get everyone the photos quickly and inexpensively.

On to news both important and unimportant. Toby is now engaged. Heartiest congratulations and best wishes. From some important good news to smut. Unfortunately, we have very little smut to report becasue the drool crew at Cava Java has abandoned the legacy of lecherous leering due to inclement weather. Although nothing truly outrageous occured at the Halloween party, something interesting was overheard:

"I didn't know Princess Lea got e-mail"

I am unable to provide the proper context as this was an anonymous submission. More submissions of this nature will certainly enliven this column.

Let us not overlook the Section 3 football team which is now unofficially 2-0. Unfortunately, we have had to forfeit games because of the truly anal IM rules such as ID possession and no pockets or hats. However, with Lucas, both Micek's, Bailey, Chi, Rosa and Mohan, the team got off to a ringing start two Sundays ago in a thrilling come from behind victory. Final score 18-12. The women of the team dominated play. Both Rosa and Tracy intercepted passes and Bailey scored the first touchdown. Neither of us made it to the second game so here is an editorialized report from Bailey:

"It was a good game! We kicked butt! We had big Carlos Brown on our side, and he rolled like the tide. The final score was 9-7. We played a team of MBA1s, so we showed them who's the boss. Bailey scored our only touchdown on the QB Option (she learned my moves from a certain Heisman Trophy candidate from Nebraska). Brad A showed `Flash like speed' in bringing down an MBA1 whipper snapper from behind.

The last game is this Sunday so we hope to go 3-0 in both final scores and forfeits.

Last but not least, Belated Happy Birthday to John Washington (October 29th) and John Madrid (November 2nd). See Ya M&R !

Section 4

Due to the inability of our Global Blue reps to realize that their mission here is to dredge up entertaining section news (not to find a silly job), two phantom writers felt obliged to wrest control of this hallowed column. Nonetheless, any complaints should still be directed to Ted and Conness (p.s. Conness - what's up with the sweats this year?).

First, a belated happy 30th to Ha-mez Klunk. Given his advancing age and decreasing capacities, please lend a hand if you see him standing helplessly on a street corner.

All concerned Section 4ers should be vigilant that Carlos is on his best behavior during his last month of bachelorhood: make sure his life doesn't get any more risque than his frequent smoke breaks!

End-of-term Corp Strat awards go to Nobu for being reluctantly chosen as Mitchell's most frequently visited commentator and to Brian F. for the most unwittingly solicited cold calls.

Best Halloween costume at the UMBSA party goes to Jason, who's currently in traction after wearing a 30 lb. pumpkin on his head all night (Gee, your hair STILL smells like pumpkin!). At least he avoided drunk teenagers wielding baseball bats! Brian C., Jay and Kevin, despite their absence, still had people puzzling over their mysterious Gross, Net and Operating Prophets from last year.

Costumes we wish we'd seen: Adam and Jason as dirty old men; Joel as Rip Van Winkle; Karen as skipper of the Exxon Valdez; Steve S. as Corp Strat philosopher; Kristin as a Spartan cheerleader; Barry as the Benedict Arnold of Sec. 4; Tim as Forrest Gump (Run, Tim, Run!); Adam and Alex K. as Ben & Jerry scoopers in Russia; Bert and Brian F. as social chairs; Richard as an introvert; Kazuo, Sunho and Mia as gunners; and Brian C. as President of the Michigan Chamber of Commerce.

Save Saturday the 18th for a to-be-determined Section 4 social event!

Section 5

The Global Blue reps have been doing research into the language of interviewing and have investigated the difference between what is being said and what is really meant. Here are the top five lines from recruitiers and students:


1. "Well, now that we have all your information, we'll get back to you in 2 weeks." Translation: Keep looking for a job, buddy.....

2. "We look at the individual as a whole." Translation: They are looking at your GMAT, your grades and to see if you worked for a Fortune 500 company over the summer with P&L responsibility for a $100 million.

3. "Our company is a leader in the industry. We are growing at a 30% rate per year." Translation: Our overhead is growing at 30% per year.

4. "We are very impressed with your credentials." Translation: We are looking for a good baby sitter.

5. "You'll have a high level of resposibility within our leading brand." Translation: You'll be counting coupons.

6. "We are very concerned about lifestyle issues." Translation: Don't worry you won't have a life. There won't be any lifestyle issues.


1. "Well thank you for the offer but I'll have to get back to you on that, since I have several job offers that I'm considering." Translation: Now I have my uncle's, Burger King's, and yours.

2. "I have a lot of experience with teams. I know what the key factor is to create a high performance team while still being a team player." Translation: Have only 1 person in the team, me.

3. "I demonstrated my leadership abilities in school teams." Translation: I led my Brandmaps team to a stock price of 1cents.

4. "I believe teams offer tremendous advantages in the workplace." Translation: I like to have a team to do my work for me.

5. "I have demonstrated my excellent analytical abilitites in my course work." Translation : I got a low pass in math camp.

Important announcements:

Section photo? Time. Please respond by e-mail on your preference: before Thanksgiving, Christmas, or in the spring.

Class dues needed. Please put payment in Chris' mailfolder.

It is incredible but we are getting closer to graduation. This is why we (GB reps) would like to get your ideas as to what would be a good way to keep the section linked after we go back into real world. We'll send an e-mail message with some ideas so that you can reply with your comments. This is very important since we know that you would like to continue reading this lame column once you get out of here. In a more serious note, this will be an important vehicle to keep in touch and learn about important events in our lives. Plus it will help keep that network Wayne Baker talked about: "You are seven people away from someone you know in the world." That makes it 6 people away after your sectionmate.

"And yes, Paul, $8 is better than a hug."

Section 6

We know who you are. So does Bill Gates! Here's who MS Word spell-checked your names to be. (OK - we helped where appropriate). Then we brilliantly jumbled the alphabetical order just to give it an added degree of difficulty. Just think - you can finally find yourself instead of talking about it all the time. Good hunting!

Forge Ardennes

Goody Glance

Rodent Advisee

Chino Job

Mince Fuddle

Goof Dudgeon

Hasbeen Holy-land

Mike Rubs

Cordial Hints

Janet Police

Mark Millets

Hi Peeing Lamb

Drake Law

Rich Insilco

Start Java

Jeff Heifer

Malt Doorknob

David Smitten

Air Phreight

Charnel Cornmuffin

David Cosigners

Trachea Burley

Tom Penned

David Von

Jake Brogues

Paul Mauler

Bong Ski You

Randy Wimp

Chunk Wager

Careless Ribs

Carl Freemason

Debbie Einstein

Eugenic Cropland

Holy Hairs

Bruce Grief

Jim Murky

One Careless Gonzalez

LJ Mockery

Dais Imo

Michael El Bare

Snazzy Silos

Gorge Netherlands

Germy Slovakian

Mamas Suzuki

Joyful Namibian

Brunt Bard

Steamin' Braintrust

Shelby Antfarm

Joint Bungler

Bold Brunette

John Crepe-punter

Ellen Woo

Sport Cooler

Jon Fragodt

Michael Richman's son

Julia Reborn

David Tassel

Wilderness Herman

Loud Gracie

Sonic Snag

Joan Steamin' Song

Albert Tater

Section 6 wishes fond farewells to Jyothi, Laura and Dale as they head for Japan to find out what teenagers really like. Hey guys, what's wrong with the teenagers around here? Also, congrats to Jeff Harvey on his bold decision to do Naked Run with his (gasp?!) buttocks painted. We'll all be there to see you (off) Jeff!

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