Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas!

Happy New Year!

I have tried to stay in touch with most of you by e-mail and website updates this year, but for those of you who don't get the monthly-ish newsletters, this one will give you the end-of-year scoop on what’s been happening in our lives.

(Written by Betsy, with input and an occasional nod of approval from Derek)

Late last year, we enjoyed a beautiful Christmas Eve with my extended family. Uncle Stewart and Aunt Nancy were the hosts for one of my favorite annual get-togethers. The only sour note of the trip was that I received my first-ever speeding ticket on US-2 in the U.P., driving Derek’s Acura, which was less than a month old at the time. I can usually talk my way out of speeding tickets (it’s a gift). But I made a major faux pas this time when the officer asked, “Do you know how fast you were going?” and my reply was, “Uh….yeah, but I thought I’d slowed down by the time you saw me.” DUHHHHHH! Momentary brain lapse.

January was a big tournament month for Derek. He won the weekly Hall of Fame tournament (arguably the toughest weekly tournament in the country), and finished in the top 4 in two other local events. He spent the first two weeks of the new year in Kentucky at the annual Derby City Classic--one of the US’s biggest annual professional pool tournaments. He finished in the top 20% of a very competitive One-Pocket field. He also played in weekend tournaments in Jackson and Fort Wayne, so I barely saw him that month. While he was gone, I worked 10-to-12 hour days to keep my head above water as the winter semester got underway. My assistant manager started January 7, and let’s just say it has been a challenging year. I also renewed my CPR certification in January and started playing in a second pool league.

Shortly after the tragedy of 9/11/01, I decided to call off my job search and stay at U of M, at least until the economy picks up. After making this decision, I started looking into other possibilities for involvement with intercollegiate recreation. I was considering applying for the position of National 9-ball Director, but after learning more about that at the Albuquerque conference (see below), I am not the least bit interested. It’s way too political for me. I learned quickly that it’s more about kissing people’s butts than running a 9-ball championship. I am much better at the latter than the former. So, after considering it for several months, I decided stay involved at the regional level, and I’ve taken back the RC position. This allows me to continue making a contribution to a program that I love, without the political baggage of a national post.

Derek’s February was highlighted by a road trip to Florida. My hopes of joining him were dashed when I came down with bronchitis. Eventually I felt better, and went back to work. While Derek enjoyed days of golf at posh resorts, and nights of pool with his buddies, I worked my stubby little fingers to the bone. (Guilt trip!) I also finished a lot of projects at home--most notably painting our guest bedroom a warm, buttery yellow. My best buds, Katie and Angela, were willing and enthusiastic assistants. We made a fun Saturday afternoon out of it, and I am extremely pleased with how it turned out. So pleased, in fact, that I found myself inspired to paint every doggone room in the house. Next up: the office. Shades of purple with yellow and green swirl accents, inspired by a funky chair we placed in the room when we first moved in. (I finished that project in August).

March was also a very active month. Derek continued his stay down south (Florida for a week, then Atlanta for a couple days to see our friend, Stanley), returning on March 7 for work just a few days later. I wrote an article for the Midwest pool publication “Inside English,” which was very well-received by pool friends around the state. I am excited about writing college-related articles for my friend Kelly, the publisher, in the future. I hedged for a long time about whether or not to attend the annual Association of College Unions International (ACUI) professional conference in Albuquerque. On one hand, it would provide the opportunity to visit with dozens of friends in the association and see a city I might never otherwise visit--at U of M’s expense, no less! But on the other hand, I am petrified to fly. Absolutely scared stiff. I finally decided in early February that I couldn’t miss such a great opportunity because of an irrational fear. But just to help calm me down, I got a sedative from my doctor. The trip, as it turns out, was a blast. The 2003 conference is in Chicago, so I’ll be happy to get there without leaving the comfort that I find in gravity. I will be presenting a session at the national conference for the first time: “Success Stories in Recreational Programming.”

While in Albuquerque I visited my Great Aunt Betty and her family, whom I had never met. She was married to my Grandma’s brother Roman, who was one of my favorite uncles. I saw him only once, when I was 6 or 7 years old. He was tall and strong with stark, white hair like Grandma’s. He made quite an impression on me as a little girl…probably reminded me of old Hollywood movie stars. I corresponded with him by mail for almost 20 years, until he passed away in 1998. He always wanted me to visit him in New Mexico, but by the time I felt mature enough to travel that far from home, he was in poor health and couldn’t get around very well. I remember him saying that if he couldn’t show me around his town, he’d rather I didn’t come. Having met his family, I really regret not making it out there to see him before he passed. They are really my kind of people. Since then, I have resumed correspondence with Aunt Betty, the same way I used to write back and forth with Uncle Roman. It warms my heart!

Late March, of course, is Academy Awards season, and my annual Oscars party. A few friends from work, a few snacks, and a “Guess the Winners” ballot always make for a fun evening. But holy cow, after 10 hours of Oscar-related television, even I got sick of it. Derek returned from a tournament in Rochester, NY about a half-hour after the show ended. He had a very good time with some guys he has never traveled with before. His only complaint--a common one as a non-smoker--is that two of them smoked incessantly in the car on the way to and from Rochester. For the last week or so in March, Derek worked every day and collapsed into bed each evening. After not working regularly for so many months, jumping headfirst into roofing every day can really take its toll on a body...especially a forty-hmmphmmph-year-old body. But with a sluggish economy and many roofers he knows begging for work, he is happy to be bringing home the bacon.

April is my favorite time of the year, from a gardening perspective. The tulips are in full bloom; some daffodils are still fresh and cheery, and all kinds of lovely plants are poking through the surface, anxious to show their bright, colorful faces as the weather warms. Best of all, the weather is still cool enough (by my standards) to actually enjoy being outside! We’ve had the joy of seeing a lot of wildlife out the back window this year. I saw a pheasant in the farmer’s field, and one night when Derek and I returned from pool league, there were 5 deer just a few feet from the house (nibbling new plant growth, I suspect...grrrr). They scattered when they saw our headlights. We see deer pretty often, but seeing them this close to the house was a first. Mallards floated and nibbled in the standing water that returns every spring when the snow melts. For a short time, I fed some baby raccoons bananas on the deck...although everyone I know strongly cautioned me against it. But they were so cute! One, in fact, took the banana right out of my hand and got close to me without showing any fear. I don’t think I would have had the will to stop feeding them, so fortunately they just moved along on their own. Someone down the road must have offered something more appealing than bananas.

On Easter Sunday, Derek woke up early and surprised me with a full breakfast and fresh coffee (believe it or not he’s pretty good at the cooking part! The cleaning-up part…well, we still need to work on that, but hey, one shouldn’t complain about a free breakfast)! We had Easter dinner with Kristin, Erik, and the Stockings...Kathy, Ric Lawson, Foster, Fred, and Mary Alice. Little Foster charmed the pants off of all of us. It was a lovely evening.

In early April, on the way home from a work meeting at Indiana University, I visited Derek at a tournament in Fort Wayne. I got to see a bunch of old tournament friends, most importantly Tammie (Wesley) Jones, a former WPBA player and sparring partner of mine. I haven’t seen her in a couple years, and although she was busy making T-shirts for the event, we had an hour or so to talk about her little girl and catch up on old times. It was great fun. Derek didn’t do so well in that tournament, but he had a great time. I played more competitive pool that month than in the previous 3 years! In our Monday league (with Derek’s crew), I went undefeated from November to June. In my Wednesday league, I posted a record of 14-4. Our team finished in 2nd place in the Master’s Division at the BCA State Championships, losing the first-place title by only one game (we played 90 games total). My performance in the team event was not all that great, but I was the only woman in the Master’s division of the tournament. My proudest moment was a table run against Benny Alvarado, aka “Benny the Head” (don’t you just love pool nicknames?), a top-notch Michigan 8-ball bar player. Benny showed a lot of class--congratulated me on my win, said he had fun seeing a woman “whoop up” on him, and even gave me a hug later that day.

I only managed a 7th place finish in the Women’s Singles (saddening because I am certain that I am as good a player as any other woman who was there, but just didn’t give my best performance in that particular arena). However, my partner and old friend, Aaron Toth and I, won the state Scotch Doubles title. In Scotch Doubles, you alternate shots--not innings--so that if I pocket a ball, Aaron has to pocket the next ball, and so on until we either win the game or miss. You can’t speak to each other during your inning, so a team really has to be in synch and read each other’s next move in order to win. We got off to a slow start, but later in the evening began to function like a well-oiled machine. We won the tournament undefeated!!! Derek stayed for all but the last match. Having driven 3 hours in a snowstorm after a full day’s work, he was exhausted. But Aaron’s wife, Stacy, and both of their parents were there until the wee hours of the morning, cheering us on. What a wonderful bunch of people!!!

Aaron and I both believe that we won because we are not a spousal couple. Haha! There were 40 other teams; among the teams who were married to or dating each other, there was a lot of shouting and even some storming out of the room. I suspect it would be equally contentious if Derek and I were to team up. Aaron and I both adopted the perspective of having fun, not setting any unrealistic expectations of each other, and not getting mad when we made mistakes. Aaron said it’s possibly the most fun he’s ever had in any tournament (this coming from a guy who plays pool 3-4 nights a week!!!) He is a dear friend, and it is largely because of his encouragement, support, and faith in me, that I am seeing some success in pool again. (And, in a very noteworthy sidebar, Aaron won the Open Singles Championship that weekend, out of over 100 of the best Bar-table 8-ball players in the state! Congrats, pal!)

On the morning of the 27th, I departed for Chicago for a pool tournament fundraiser for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. Unfortunately, Derek was not able to go to the tournament with me. This was not a competitive tournament like most of the ones I play in (lose just one game and you’re out!), but the focus was not winning. For some people, the focus was drinking and hitting on your partner (ha!) but for all of us, it was raising money for the CFF, and in that regard it was tremendously successful! Each person’s $40 entry fee went to the CFF, and I also solicited pledges from my wonderful co-workers, to the tune of $120 more for the fund. There were over 100 players, and partners were randomly chosen. My partner, Kevin, and I finished in 3rd place. The match we lost was the semi-finals against last year’s winner, and we played well. She left me a difficult 8-ball bank shot, and I missed it by about a half-centimeter. Considering that first prize was a “sack of booze,” as someone described it (I am allergic to alcohol and, hence, choose not to drink), I really didn’t lose much by getting 3rd place instead of 1st...except, of course, the bragging rights. My cousin, Lori, also had a great time, playing much better than she expected for her very first tournament!

Have you ever heard me speak backwards? I can say entire sentences in reverse phonetic order. It’s a strange, inexplicable ability, which I undoubtedly got from one of Grandpa Sundholm’s genes, but it’s 100% true. Recently, Derek has been coaxing me to demonstrate this freakishly absurd skill at parties and whatnot. At first people show disbelief (“you’re full of sh*t”), then challenge (“here, read this to me backwards!” shoving a magazine across the table), then spectacle (“dude, come over here! you gotta hear this!”), and finally, eerie acceptance (“Please just stop. You’re creeping me out.”) Once you teach yourself how to do something like this, you can’t just turn it off. I have been doing it in my head for years; it’s nice to finally share it with someone. If you don't believe me, just ask me to do it next time you see me. It really is kind of cinatas (turn the letters around--you’ll figure it out).

On Mother’s Day, like too many years, I was not able to get away for the weekend to spend it with my Mom. But we did have a nice dinner with Derek’s mom. They returned from Florida not long before then, so it was nice to see her and spend the evening with her. On May 15, we broke ground on the backyard deck, our major home improvement project of the year. A couple days later, Derek called home from the golf course and asked me to meet him at Don Carlos to celebrate his eagle on number 11 at Leslie Park!!! It was actually just 3 feet--on a straight line from his previous shot--shy of a double eagle, which would have been simply amazing. Derek reached two golf milestones this year: the eagle, and his record score at Leslie (his home course): 79.

On Memorial Day weekend, we drove home for my cousin, Colleen’s graduation party as planned. We checked out the house that Sean & Celina bought from Mom’s neighbor Gerda, who passed away. She shared our Swedish heritage and had a lot of artifacts, so Celina gave me some old Swedish books and a svenska flag. The kids have a lot of work to do on that house, but they are very excited to be homeowners and really seem like they’re up for the challenge. We went to Aunt Lynn’s house the evening we arrived...the whole family was there! A quick estimate puts that at 31 people in an average-sized house...Whew. Only with people you really love, can you share space that closely.

In June, as we anxiously awaited the completion of the deck, a huge snapping turtle wandered into the yard. The cats reacted with guarded amazement. Simonis got closest, within 3 inches of the turtle's face. Fortunately, it did not snap, or one of the cats would have surely lost a nose or an ear. On June 8, I headed to Angela’s in the ungodly heat for the long-awaited Indigo Girls concert (the first of two IG concerts I attended this year). Angela provided beverages and fruit snacks in a cooler, and I brought a pillow and comforter for lawn seating. We abandoned the beverages in the trunk, since the concert Nazis will not allow beverages--not even water--to be brought in. After the sun went down, it was a cool, gorgeous evening. The Indigo Girls, as always, ROCKED. There was lots of “free love” all around us, reminiscent of the 60s (good thing we can multi-task: listen to the music and people-watch).

In June we also closed on a home refinance, 6.5%. Yippee! We’re saving about $100 a month on mortgage payments, and we’ll be paid off several years sooner. With rates now as low as 5.0% though, we are considering doing it again. We’re doing some investigatin’. We cheered the Red Wings on to victory throughout the month, spending a lot of evenings home in front of the TV, wishing we were at Joe Louis Arena. Even on Derek’s birthday, which was the final game of the Stanley Cup Championships, he didn’t want a fancy dinner or night out on the town; just Chinese takeout and a seat in front of the tube cheering on our boys in red to another national championship!

Later that month I was dubbed by my co-workers, “Queen of the Union” for a day. I was offended when they told me this, because I have always been under the impression that I am the queen every day. J This happened because nearly everyone else in my building was doing a Ropes/Challenge/Teambuilding course. I begged out of the activity because of my lower back problems. I have done the Ropes course once before, and I absolutely hated it. I can tolerate most team bonding activities, but not when it involves 90-degree weather and lifting each other up, down, through and around various things. NO THANK YOU!

The last board of our backyard deck was in place about a week before our “Jamaica Mon” party for Derek's birthday on June 22. We had about 30 good friends over for an evening of Jamaican food, fruity drinks, fun on the deck, and (of course) arts & crafts....with only modest acknowledgement that Derek turned one year older. It seems the theme party concept is catching on, because not an hour into the party, people were asking what the theme of the next party would be. By the end of the night, it was decided: A Yooper Party! (more below)

In July, Derek had to absorb a 25% pay cut enacted by his main contractor. He had eaten a bunch of smaller cuts over the last year, without having to pass them along to his crew, but this one meant cuts for everyone. His main worker, who has been with him almost 12 years, left about 6 weeks later. All around him, contractors were slowing down, getting work only once every two weeks, and even going out of business. He, too, was working much harder for a lot less money. But he weathered the storm, and with some moderate domestic cutbacks, we have kept up on bills and are looking ahead to sunnier days. The fall, despite the still-in-effect pay cut, was relatively prosperous, and he feels fortunate to enter the winter months with a bit of a financial cushion.

Independence Day took me to the Upper Peninsula with college buddies, Angela and Ciara. Ciara had only passed through the UP once, and Angela hadn’t been there in several years. And with all of us recently turning 30 and encountering all of the baggage that goes along with that…career challenges, marriage crises, and maybe even some minor identity trials…we decided that a man-free, work-free, stress-free weekend just for the girls was in order. I highly encourage you to check out the website pictures of this trip. I’d elaborate more, but I’m trying to keep this letter under 4 pages. This was my most memorable trip/occasion of the year!

A representative of the Billiards Congress of America called me in August, having found the Billiards Room website (www.umich.edu/~billiard). She asked if we would be interested in hosting the Junior National Championships next summer… “Well Heck Yeah!!!”…..and a couple months later, after they visited and researched several schools, my U-M Billiards Room was chosen to be the host site. This is a very exciting opportunity. It will be hard work, but I will love every minute. In late July, the best under-18 pool players in the US will be in Ann Arbor, vying for the title and a trip to Taiwan to represent the US in the World Championships!

On September 6, I finally met my Internet pen pal of two years, Holly, from California. She visited her sister in Akron, and considerately set aside a whole day to drive to Ann Arbor and meet me. We visited the Matthei Botanical Gardens, then drove around and looked at fancy houses to kill a couple hours before meeting Derek downtown for dinner. The next morning, we headed to Windsor. Holly had never had the opportunity to see Canada, so it was tops on her list of things to do while in Michigan. We shopped a lot, talked like Canadians, and snagged some great deals, taking advantage of the favorable exchange rate. The 24 hours we had together were a blur, but it was great to finally meet my longtime WWW pal, live and in the flesh.

This year, I have really grown close to a new friend, Elaine Reed. The more we learn about each other, the more we enjoy each other’s company. As you might recall, Elaine applied for the position of Assistant Manager in the Billiards Room. She was in the top two and would have been my choice for the job, but I went with the committee’s recommendation and chose the other candidate. But Elaine and I have talked about it, and we agree that our friendship is much more important to us than the job could ever be...and who knows if we would have gotten along as well as co-workers as we do as friends? We are both very happy to have made a good friend out of the whole deal...Elaine because she’s new to the area and hasn’t met a lot of people, and me because aside from my co-workers and a handful of college buddies, I don’t have a lot of close girlfriends down here (i.e., in Lower Michigan) either. Our next fun outing: going to a tealeaf reader / fortuneteller just for the heck of it!

On the first weekend in November, an old friend of Derek’s family was in town from Turkey for a visit. It was also the last weekend that Derek’s folks would be in Michigan, before heading to their newly-built home in Florida for the winter. His family got together twice for dinner that weekend, but unfortunately, I was not able to join them because I was at a conference in Detroit. The conference was very educational and productive, but we also made time for fun. I toured the Detroit Institute of the Arts on an afternoon tour, and the whole conference contingent took in a Second City improv performance. It was Angela's birthday, so the ACUI conference planners were kind enough to let Angela and Ciara join us, even though they weren't with the conference. The show was excellent!

Derek played in the Glass City Open tournament in Toledo in mid-November. Because it was only about an hour away and holds a lot of fond memories for us (it was an annual event when we first started dating, but the last one was in 1994), I took 3 days off from work and made a vacation out of it. It was everything we hoped for. Derek finished one place out of the money round, but had a very good time. More photos: .....Practing .....Check the rack....Practicing some more

I celebrated Thanksgiving a week early with a visit from Mom. She was doing a training course in Lansing, so she drove the extra hour to spend the weekend with me. Derek was away at a big pool tournament near Cleveland, so we kept ourselves busy with shopping, watching movies, and eating Thanksgiving dinner with Elaine and Katie. While Mom was there, Derek called several times with updates on his progress in the tournament. He was very excited to call on Friday to say that he’d stayed up all night, the night before. Why, you ask? Because he won $1300! It appears that the lack of sleep agrees with him, because he proceeded to win match after match in the tournament, finishing 17^th of 135 players. He also had a great time golfing with a couple of guys from the pro tour. (Shhhhh….Don’t tell him I said so, but I guarantee that he ATE UP the notoriety of being the best golfer in the foursome, because he was definitely the weakest pool player!)

For my birthday this year, I wanted to do something special. I heard that Italian opera singer Andréa Bocelli would be singing at the Palace of Auburn Hills on December 1, so I asked Derek if he’d be up for it. “Sure,” he said, and I decided to buy tickets before he found out that Andréa Bocelli is not a woman, and does not sing in English, and change his mind. Alas, even the nosebleed seats were about $100, so I decided I’d rather have a nice dinner and maybe a Bocelli CD. But sometimes, this pool player’s lifestyle has its rewards. Derek placed a call to a friend, who is a professional casino gambler. Within a day, he had hooked us up with tickets for the concert. Not just tickets, mind you…the casino’s SUITE tickets. And free parking. We had an absolutely fabulous experience at the concert, and I’m really glad I decided to do something different this year. (BTW…because of the free tickets, I still got the nice dinner! And the Trimborns later bought me the CD! Cha-ching!) The only bummer was that, without thinking, Derek accepted tickets from another friend, for a Red Wings game the same night. It was a painful decision, but a no-brainer. We can see the Red Wings relatively easily, but who knows when we might have another opportunity to hear Andréa Bocelli. So Derek gave the tickets to Kristin, and she and Erik say they had a great time. We’re glad that someone close to us was able to have the experience. Since then, Derek has also gotten suite tickets to two Pistons games from his buddy, so it’s been an active December for us in terms of event attendance.

OK folks, I saved the best for last. As you may know, we have parties every year, around Derek’s birthday in June and mine in December. Last year, with patriotism running high, I asked everyone to wear red/white/blue to the party. It was because of this little afterthought, that our series of theme parties has begun! Jamaica in June was great, but on December 8 we had the best party we’ve ever had: DA YOOPER PARTY!!!! We served venison, pasties, and fudge, and at the bar were Pabst Blue Ribbon and Strohs, with a chaser of Boone’s Farm wine. At the entrance to the house, there was a Mackinac Bridge on the wall (Christmas lights), and everyone was asked to pay the bridge toll of $1.50. (The proceeds have been donated to the Humane Society). When our “regular” party guests heard about the theme, nearly everyone got into the spirit…and into COSTUME! There was an awful lot of Hunter’s orange and camouflage, and a fine assortment of boots, caps, chooks, and other thermal headwear. We found our inspiration in Jeff Daniels’ movie “Escanaba in da Moonlight,” which we showed on DVD that night. I’ll ask you to see the numerous pictures on the website, for a taste of how much fun we had. Holy Whah! We also hashed out ideas for the next them party. Top ideas so far are “Beach Party,” “Amish Paradise,” “Irish Shenanigans,” and “French Fête.” You can find out more about each theme, and vote for your favorite, online!

If you have made enough time to read this entire letter, I thank you. You might think, after a couple pages, “where does she find the time?” But I thoroughly enjoy writing my letters and e-mails and doing all the silly stuff I do on this website. And I truly appreciate that you took the time to share my oddball thoughts and our experiences of the year. Communicating with my beloved friends and family is a creative outlet for me…like painting or singing or writing poetry for some people. Everyone needs to be creative! And if you have enjoyed reading it, even one-tenth as much as I enjoyed writing it for you, then I am greatly rewarded.

My final thought of 2002, and of this letter, is a challenge. Last year I challenged you, remember, to call an old friend that you haven’t talked to in a long time, and ask her over for coffee or dessert? Well, this year’s challenge is courtesy of Woman’s Day magazine. Hug your spouse for 30 seconds every morning. Derek and I have been doing this since April. When I told him about it, he gave me that “what have you been smoking?” look, but we eventually compromised on 15 seconds, and we do it almost every day. You’ll be pleasantly surprised!