We put the "FUN" in "DysFUNctional"!

Specialties from the Dysfunctional Section of Hallmark...

 

I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you've come into my life...

(Inside card) - I've changed my mind.

 

I must admit, you brought religion into my life...

(Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.

 

As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....

(Inside card) - That you're not here to ruin it for me.

 

Congratulations on your promotion. But before you go....

(Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.

 

Someday I hope to marry...

(Inside card) - Someone other than you.

 

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....

(Inside card) - Did you ever find out who the father was?

 

Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....

(Inside card) - Almost lifelike!

 

We've been friends for a very long time...

(Inside card) - What do ya say we stop?

 

I'm so miserable without you...

(Inside card) - It's almost like you're still here.

 

You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket...

(Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly, and think of you often.

 

Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday...

(Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.

 

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Alabama, Mississippi, and Arkansas)

 

Looking back over the years we've been together, I can't help but wonder...

(Inside card) - What was I thinking?

 

Congratulations on your wedding day!...

(Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband

 

When we were together, you said you'd die for me...

(Inside card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.

 

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