Jeff Foxworthy's view of Michigan:
If
you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice
and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in
Michigan.
If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Pelston is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Michigan.
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Michigan.
If
you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you might
live in Michigan.
If
someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might
live in Michigan.
If
your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you
might live in Michigan.
If
you have worn shorts and a coat at the same time, you might live in Michigan.
If
your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Michigan.
If
you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong
number, you might live in Michigan.
You
know you're a true MICHIGANIAN when.............
"Vacation"
means going up north on I-75.
You
measure distance in hours.
You
know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
You
often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
You
can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without
flinching.
You
see people wearing camouflage at social events (including
weddings).
You
install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You
carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
You
design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving
is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
You
know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
You
can identify a southern or eastern accent.
Your
idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
You
were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
Down
South to you means Ohio
A
brat is something you eat.
Your
neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole barn.
You
go out to fish fry every Friday.
Your
4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
You
have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
You
find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
You
drink pop and bake with soda.
Your
doctor tells you to drink Vernors and you know it's not medicine.
You
know what a Yooper is.
You
think owning a Honda is un-American.
You
know that UP is a place not a direction
You
know it's possible to live in a thumb.
You
understand that when visiting Detroit, the best thing to wear is a Kevlar vest.