Our Perfect Days
See how you compare....

Perfect Day for A Woman

8:15     Wake up to hugs and kisses.

8:30     Weigh 5 lbs. lighter than yesterday.

8:45     Breakfast in bed, fresh-squeezed orange juice and croissants.

9:15     Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil.

10:00     Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer.

10:30     Facial, manicure, shampoo, and comb out.

12:00     Lunch with best friend at an outdoor cafe.

12:45     Notice ex-boyfriend's wife, she has gained 30 lbs.

13:00     Shopping with friends.

15:00     Nap.

16:00     A dozen roses delivered by florist. Card is from a secret admirer.

16:15     Light workout at club followed by a gentle massage.

17:30     Pick outfit for dinner. Primp before mirror.

19:30     Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing.

22:00     Hot shower. Alone.

22:30     Make love.

23:00     Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling.

23:15     Fall asleep in his big, strong arms.

Perfect Day for A Man

6:00     Alarm.

6:15     Blowjob.

6:30     Massive dump while reading the sports section of USA Today.

7:00     Breakfast. Filet Mignon, eggs, toast and coffee.

7:30     Limo arrives.

7:45     Bloody Mary en route to airport.

8:15     Private jet to Augusta, Georgia.

9:30     Limo to Augusta National Golf Club.

9:45     Play front nine at Augusta, finish 2 under par.

11:45     Lunch. 2 dozen oysters on the half shell. 3 Heinekens.

12:15     Blowjob.

12:30     Play back nine at Augusta, finish 4 under par.

14:15     Limo back to airport. Drink 2 Bombay martinis.

14:30     Private jet to Nassau, Bahamas. Nap.

15:15     Late afternoon fishing excursion with topless female crew.

16:30     Catch world record light tackle marlin-1249 lbs.

17:00     Jet back home. En route, get massage from naked Kathy Ireland.

19:00     Watch CNN Newsflash. Saddam kills self with rat poison.

19:30     Dinner. Lobster appetizers, 1963 Dom Perignon, 20 0z. New York strip.

21:00     Relax after dinner with 1789 Augler Cognac and Cohiba cuban cigar.

22:00     Have sex with two 18 year old nymphomaniacs.

23:00     Massage and jacuzzi.

23:45     Go to bed.

23:50     Let loose a 12-second, 4-octave fart.  Watch the dog leave the room.

23:55     Laugh yourself to sleep.