Betz's Grammar Page
Bad Grammar Makes Me [sic].
Join the Apostrophe Protection Society.
Who are we?
We are a extremist sect of grammar geeks who walk around with permanent markers in our purses and front pockets, correcting the apostrophic mistakes that business owners make on signs, especially hand-written signs.
Yes, apostrophic is a word. I thought I was just making that shit up (because it sounds like "catastrophic"), but spell check didn't give me its characteristic red underline of shame. I looked it up, and whaddaya know! It's legit!
Well, to be honest, we members of the Society aren't extremists at all. In actuality, we mostly just talk about doing this. We complain about people's abuse of apostrophes, and of the English language in general. We also poke fun at idiots who do not have a fundamental grasp of their (our) language. But one of these days, I tell you, corrections will be made! A situation will arise where I can right an egregious wrong undetected, and I will get straight to work. In the grocery store...or perhaps while at a routine trip to the vet with my cats.
I have a marker, and I'm not afraid to use it!
Lynne Truss refers to the Apostrophe Protection Society in her brilliant book, "Eats, Shoots & Leaves." The founder and sole member claims that this is not an actual society, but more of a personal rebellion. I wouldn't dare steal that name from him, but I hope he doesn't mind that I've adopted it. We are officially, as listed on Facebook, the "Michigan Apostrophe Protection Society." There is an "Apostrophe Protection Society," which has far more members. At present, the M.A.P.S. tops out at 8 members, almost all of whom I had to personally invite/coerce/strongarm into joining.
How do you know if you are M.A.P.S. material?
If the following declarations bug the crap out of you:
Your invited to a Party!
Free Puppy's
The injured deer was unable to get up on it's own
....then the Society might be a good home for you.
Official salute
Raise your hand in the air as if to wave to someone. Instead of waving with an open palm, curve your hand downward and to the left, making an "air apostrophe." You'll find this immensely fulfilling, especially when shared with other grammar geeks. Some day it will catch on, and all word nerds across this great nation will openly salute each other in this fashion.
A few links for and by the grammatically superior:
Lynne Truss is my Hero (author of "Eats, Shoots & Leaves")
Apostrophe Protection Society (the real one!)
Grammar Guide (courtesy of Jack Lynch at Rutgers, whom I do not know personally)
Word of the Day (No matter how smart you are, don't ever stop increasing your vocabulary)
Check back again soon for more updates. It's fairly new (April 2007) but will probably grow.