Betsy's September 2001 Newsletter

September 23, 2001

Hello again, friends and family!

It’s been nearly a month since the last edition of the news--an indication of how busy we’ve been! I’ll make no promises about keeping this one short. Just read as much as you care to now, and maybe come back later with a nice cup of tea (or beer, if you prefer) and peruse the rest.

This month’s newsletter is brought to you by the color ORANGE. This is at the behest of longtime newsletter subscriber--and apparent Sesame Street fan--Katie S, whose unconditional (some say obsessive) love of the color orange is well known by her friends and family. Any requests for next month (besides having Katie committed to the loony bin)?

An added feature of this month's newsletter: LINKS! Wherever you see a word underlined, you can click on it to take you to a different web page that might be of interest.

The school year got off to a hectic but manageable start. September always yields two times as much work as one person can handle in a 50-hour week, but I’ve learned after all these years that things happen whether you fret about them or not. Even though we (and by “we” I mean those of us in the Student Affairs profession) strive to make the best possible impression on students, they also need to learn that we are only human. A term that always comes to mind--and I don’t think I exactly coined this phrase but I sure have lived it--is “managed chaos." Some say that’s an oxymoron, but I ask them to walk a day in my shoes, or the shoes of just about anyone who works in a college Union, and THEN argue that there’s no such thing.

It gets a little better every year, as I learn more and more about choosing the best student employees and creating an environment that they want to come back to year after year. Every student I retain means one less that we have to spend hours and hours training. With two facilities, each open about a hundred hours a week, it’s clear that I can’t keep them running on my own. So needless to say, reliable, bright student employees are a crucial piece of the puzzle.

Derek has been equally busy, but he is really enjoying the dropping temperatures of autumn and the convenience and efficiency of his new dump truck. As the household bookkeeper, I see it as a very large, new payment every month, but he says that at least HALF of the payment is made up for by labor time saved. Plus, he argues, his dump truck is a piece of equipment that earns him money on each job, so it really does pay for itself. Ok, so he wins that argument. It’s not often…ahem <breaking arm while patting self on the back>….but I can admit when I’m wrong! J

Last month I mentioned that there’d be Hell to pay if I didn’t have some topsoil and flat stones for my garden by the time I wrote the next newsletter. Derek made good on his promise, even though he had to leave the job early in order to meet me at The Bushel Center just before they closed on August 25. I spent nearly all day digging to prepare the plot where the topsoil was to be dumped. I moved about 30 wheelbarrow loads of our heavy clay soil by myself that day, which was a LOT harder than I expected it to be. The cats looked at me huffing and puffing while I worked, as if to say, “What the HELL is she trying to prove?" I must say: the felines might have been wiser than I that day. We could actually use another load of topsoil for various flowerbeds around our humble abode, but for now I am happy. If I finish every gardening idea now, what will I have for therapy in future years????

Our trip to the Bushel Center was worth the wait. We found some gorgeous rough-cut slate pieces to make a stepping stone path on the north side of the house, around my future shade garden. They are deep purple (almost black) with marbleized stripes of light green. We miscalculated on the number of pieces, though, so I’ll have to go back for about 6 more. They weigh about 25 pounds each, so I should be able to transport them in my car. I’m not sure what country this particular type of slate comes from, but I’ll be sure to ask when I go back. (Anyone who lives in this area and needs to buy pavers or the like: I HIGHLY recommend the Bushel Center in Belleville. Their selection of exotic stones and slates is better than any of the other places I’ve been).

Derek made a visit to the casino that night, and my head hit the pillow about 5 minutes after he left. He lost a couple hundred bucks but had a great time. He hadn’t been to the casino in several weeks because work was keeping him so busy.

Angela, Katie and I enjoyed our long-awaited trip to The Detroit Zoo on the 26th. It was a rainy, humid day, but we had a grand time anyway. We started off with a lunch stop at a neat old place called Comet Burger in Royal Oak. We enjoyed everything but our bratty little teenage waitress. Every time I run into a teenager who is a snotty know-it-all, I apologize to my mother because I remember being like that for a couple years myself. She says now that I was no worse than other teenagers, but she’s had 15 years to forget about it. And I’ve lived away from home for about 12 years, so I have to believe there’s a little bit of “absence makes the heart grow fonder” in play. Either way, Mom, I’m sorry! (again)

Angela was a REAL trooper at the zoo, despite being in the throes of moderate food poisoning. I can’t say I would have had the “stomach” (haha) to go to the zoo that day if I was in her shoes. But we had already postponed at least once, and we didn’t want to put off the trip any longer. We knew if we waited until the school year was underway, it probably wouldn’t happen.

Once at the zoo, it was our turn to be giggly and act like teenagers. First stop was the Butterfly House. I almost accidentally kicked a hummingbird flying at knee-level (bad choice of altitude, little buddy). We had a rare treat as one of the male gorillas, Sunny, was sitting as close to the viewing room as he could possibly get. There was literally only an inch or so of glass separating us from him (one-way glass so that he wouldn’t see us and FREAK out). Angela and I tried several times, but we couldn’t manage to ditch Katie anywhere at the zoo. She kept finding us! J

Later, after waiting out a downpour, I nearly bruised Katie when I tried to get her attention to look at two kangaroos getting “intimate.” That gave us a good laugh for about 2 minutes, as other people noticed and tried to divert their children’s attention. We, on the other hand, kept staring and making a scene. OK, it was mostly me. I have NO shame!

That was a great day: the perfect end-of-summer outing with my two best buds in the whole world.

Then the collegiate pandemonium hit. August 27 was the very first day for one of my new SORC clerks, and she handled it with utmost grace and temperance. Even with both of us working diligently, there were more customers than we could accommodate. In many ways it was good--people coming in a week ahead of time so they didn’t have to contend with the Fall Lottery rush, but we were NOT prepared for it! That night when I arrived home, after a 12-hour day, I was nearly in tears. It was not a BAD day, but you know how sometimes the stress of a busy day--even a GOOD busy day--drives you to the brink? I walked in the door, changed into a nightie, and curled into the fetal position on the couch to watch The Wizard of Oz DVD, my “comfort food.” I didn’t move for almost 3 hours. Derek watched it with me and provided some much-needed sympathy.

On the 29th we enjoyed one of several appreciated meals that Katie prepared while she stayed with us. Derek’s allergies were flaring up all week, so he couldn’t actually smell or taste the food, but we assured him he was eating something tasty. I must say: the notion of having dinner on the table when I come home from work every day is very appealing. I felt so special and LOVED!

My staff gradually returned to campus that week, so by week’s end everything was under control and I was able to return to my menial tasks of--oh, interviewing potential employees, making sure the schedule was covered, and submitting payroll so everyone could get paid!

On Thursday of that week was Escapade, the annual Open House for all new students. About 5,000 18-year-olds are literally marched (courtesy of the Michigan Marching Band) from Hill Auditorium, where they listen to Convocation speeches from the president and assorted VPs and professors, to the steps of the Michigan Union. We invite them in to indulge in tons of free food, games, and activities from 8 to midnight. My department spends the entire summer preparing for this event, and we have dozens of volunteers, but even with all the preparation, it gets crazy.

My biggest contribution is the supervision of the decorating volunteers--i.e., balloons. In the past, even with a volunteer troop of 10-12 people, it has taken up to 4 hours to finish decorating the building. But one of our grad students had a great idea this year--rather than hang foam signs from the balloons designating what was going on in different areas (“Free Food,” “Sno-cones,” “Community Plunge,” etc.), she suggested that we get HUGE markers and WRITE the names of the events directly on the balloons. The foam signs were always really hard to attach, and even harder to balance. Furthermore, they hung below the balloons so they were barely above eye level, so it’s questionable whether people even SAW the signs over the oceans of other students surrounding them. Anyway, Kelli’s idea to use markers cut our time in half. Less than in half, in fact. Unfortunately, though, I was the only one who could contort my fingers to tie the knot in the 3-foot balloons we used, though, so by the end of those 90 minutes, I had blisters. But they looked GREAT!!! And that’s all that matters… right? Right????

That weekend Katie moved out for two days so Uncle Terry and Aunt Teresa would have a room for the holiday weekend. They arrived Saturday morning and ended up only staying for about 30 hours, though, fearful that they would have a lot of traffic to fight if they returned on Labor Day. We tried to do a bunch of different things on Saturday--Botanical Gardens, Art Museum, a Street Dance, but we were foiled by the home football game at U of M. We were at a complete standstill on US23 for about 20 minutes, trying to head north, before Derek cut through the median and headed us back toward home, away from the tens of thousands of cars. I had to work for a few hours that afternoon, but the entire family met up at Carol’s house for dinner (Terry is Carol’s brother). The next day, they decided to leave after a late breakfast, so we really didn’t have time to do much else.

September 4-7 was Lottery Week. That’s the week when student groups vie for advertising space through the SORC--our busiest week of the year. There are over 800 student groups but only 53 ad spaces to contend for, so it’s a heated battle. I won’t bore you with more details, but I’ll just say I worked over 55 hours in a 4-day workweek. About midway through the week I got word that my annual salary increase (based on merit) would be 5.8%. This was extremely good news, considering that the university average was 2.5-3.0%. The news couldn’t have come at a better time. It gave me a much-needed boost to maintain a cheery disposition through the rest of the week.

Lately I've been having some blurred vision every once in a while. I've always had excellent vision, particularly things far away, but since there is a history of diabetes in my family, I decided it's better to be safe than sorry. The eye doctor said on September 8th there's no damage to my vision, and it hasn't changed much in 5 years, but he recommended that I have my blood sugar tested anyway.

September 8 was also the day of Don Gibson's funeral. Derek knew Mr. Gibson since he was a little boy, and went to school with his sons. I had only met him once, but it was really impressive to see how many people went to his funeral. It was clear that he was a much-loved and much-respected man. Derek said he was "tough, but fair." Isn't that how a lot of heroes are described?

While driving to work on Tuesday the 11th, I heard on the radio that a plane had crashed into one of the World Trade Center towers. Since the radio station I listen to has a comedic morning team, I didn’t believe it at first. I kept expecting to hear a punch line. They speculated that it was an “air traffic control issue.” But then, as I approached my exit for work, the disc jockeys relayed word that another plane crashed into the other tower, just as they were watching the first one in disbelief.

The rest of that day is a blur. I was only able to watch a few minutes of television coverage, because it was the last of our lottery days at the SORC, where we only have a radio. Hour by hour, the reality of the attacks unfolded. Crowds gathered around every television in the building. By the end of the day, whether they knew someone in the WTC or not, everyone was hanging their head. It was not until I got home that night that I finally saw the images that most people had been watching all day--the images we’ve all seen dozens of times by now--of the second plane being swallowed by the huge tower, and the collapse of the iconic American buildings that seemed unshakable, unbreakable. There’s nothing I can say that hasn’t already been said: it was America’s darkest day.

I had close calls with two of my students. Katie was bound for Washington DC that day for a Women’s Health Conference. Fortunately, air travel was shut down shortly before her plane left the ground. Another student, Eric, had been working as a campaign manager since July, and returned home to NYC for the election. I didn’t hear from him for two days. By then I was awfully worried. I had left voice mail messages on his cell phone and written a couple emails, but no word. I finally decided to look up his parents’ number and call them. He called back a few hours later, safe in Brooklyn but clearly very sad. Several of the guys who’d volunteered on his campaign were Union carpenters on the upper floors of one of the towers when they were hit. No one had heard from them since the crashes, and their chances of escape and survival were slim.

The next day was very eerie, with fighter planes circling the skies of Ann Arbor. Growing up near an Air Force Base, I kind of got used to seeing military planes overhead as a kid. But on that day, in a town like Ann Arbor, the planes had everyone looking skyward in complete silence. We didn’t know exactly what they were doing, but we knew what they meant: things would NEVER be the same. We could be at war in a matter of hours. This could be the most memorable thing that ever happens in our lifetime. It will be one of those historic moments, like my Mom and everyone from her generation always used to talk about where they were when President Kennedy was assassinated. Everyone will remember where they were on September 11, 2001.

A few days later, I found out that someone I knew had been in the WTC and was still missing. I wrote to many of you about this already, but Christina Ryook, a student from a couple years ago, was on the upper floors of Building 1, which took a direct hit from the first plane. She worked for Cantor-Fitzgerald, which appears to have lost ALL 700 of its WTC employees that day. We were not especially close, but close enough to be on a first-name basis. Her office was right across the hall from mine when she was the Vice President of the Korean Students Association at U of M. I regret that I didn’t take the time to get to know her better.

For several days, I think the whole country just “went through the motions” of going to work and trying to get back to some sense of normalcy. We canceled most of our programs in the student Union that week, but I decided to hold the Mass Meetings for the Chess Club and Billiards Club as planned. The Chess Club had a depressing turnout of one lone student, but the Billiards Club attendance was higher than it has ever been. It was very encouraging. I have struggled with the membership for a few years, but this year it looks like we will easily double in size.

That day (the 14th) was a big party in Dayton for one of Derek’s good friends, Steve Trimborn. He was celebrating a milestone birthday but as a favor to Steve <wink>, I won’t mention which one. I’ll just say it ends in zero. J I was not able to attend, but Derek went with our friends, JD and Pat. Derek said they had a good time. I really wish I could have been there; instead I worked from 9AM to 10PM and, once again, crumpled into bed at the end of the day.

There was another party the next night, so the threesome came back from Dayton that afternoon. Kurt, the contractor from whom Derek subs about half of his roofing jobs, and his wife Grace, were having their annual end-of-summer party. We were anxious to go and see some of Derek’s co-workers outside the work environment and meet some of Kurt & Grace’s friends. We had a good time, playing pool and listening to Karaoke. I hardly ever drink, but I had 2 glasses of Piesporter (Mmmm) and really enjoyed myself. Their house is gorgeous, nestled a mile back from the road on a 40-acre wooded lot. They have a small lake and even their own dirt racetrack (several members of the family race motorcycles--I guess they felt it was a worthwhile investment)! We enjoyed the evening but the next morning, Derek probably would have liked to turn the clock back and have a FEW less drinks.

Sunday the 16th was a very important day for the SORC: our Fall Training retreat. We do this every year for all the new staff as well as the returning staff. After several months of being away, their memories on rules and procedures tend to fade, so we do a refresher in a relaxed, comfortable environment. The dual purpose, and perhaps even more important, is that we do fun activities to “bond” as a staff. There are few student jobs that demand more responsibility than this one, so having staff cohesion and unity is absolutely critical. By all accounts, it was a success. I think I have a great group of kids again this year.

That night, we rented ‘Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels.’ Having rented and thoroughly enjoyed ‘Snatch’ the week before, we decided to check out Guy Ritchie’s (aka, Mr. Madonna) previous flick. We had it for 5 whole days, but I never did get a chance to watch it. Derek liked it though. On the recommendation of several friends we also picked out ‘Memento’ but neither of us liked it all that much.

We also rented ‘Gladiator’ (can you believe we movie buffs hadn’t seen that yet!?), ‘Living Out Loud’, ‘Down to Earth’, ‘The Mexican’, and ‘Nurse Betty’ last week. We liked them all to varying degrees except for ‘Nurse Betty’. I just think the decision of Chris Rock and Morgan Freeman as hit men was bad casting. And I really don’t like Renee Zelwegger, so the main character, for whom you’re supposed to feel sympathy and compassion, never quite hit the mark. Yeah, I really hated that movie. Derek was so disinterested that he didn’t even watch the whole thing.

Wednesday was a long but fun day. I do a program with a local high school where a few classes take a field trip to the Billiards Room once per semester. It’s usually Geometry or Physics classes. They come in with their teachers and have fun for an hour or so, and I give them a 10-minute demonstration of how they can apply what they’ve learned in the classroom to the pool table. It’s one of my favorite programs because it helps me introduce youngsters to pool the RIGHT way. I can take advantage of their undivided attention to show them the proper way to treat the equipment, while giving them a little entertainment with trick and fancy shots that they’ve never seen before. The only down side to this program this year was that the first Geometry class arrived at 8AM. My last program that day ended at 9PM--so yet another marathon day was in store for me.

I caught a flu bug that’s been going around and stayed home from work on Thursday and Friday, so I was NOT looking forward to my return today. There are piles and piles of stuff to take care of, each more urgent than the thing before it.

Our friend, Stanley, was in town from Atlanta for about a week. He and Derek went to the first pool tournament of the season on Thursday night. Had I not been so sick, I would have surely gone with them. I didn't even get to see Stanley while he was here!

Saturday was an extremely long day for Derek. They had a job out in Devil’s Lake, a good 75-minute drive with no freeways in proximity. They left at 7:40 a.m. and got home at 10:05 p.m. They had to finish the job with flashlights!!!! Had it been closer to Ann Arbor, they would have called it a day around dinner time and gone back to finish on Sunday, but NO ONE wanted to make that trek back out there, particularly on a Sunday.

I got a lot accomplished while Derek was gone, this being the first day in 3 that I felt like even getting out of bed. Little Ratso had a vet appointment. He was so (surprisingly) well behaved that I treated him to a whole can of Fancy Feast when we got home. He ate every last morsel! The assistants who took his blood and the vet who gave him his shots were absolutely charmed. If only they knew what a terror he is at home! I also did some major housecleaning and about a dozen loads of laundry while enjoying some new CDs: Sade, Aretha Franklin (both Greatest Hits CDs), Guns-n-Roses, and Pearl Jam. Those favorite tunes filled the air all day long. Finally, I wrote the bulk of this newsletter on Saturday too, into the wee hours of the morning!

We had a very late dinner when Derek got home. I had every light in the house dimmed, with candles in every room. I wasn’t going for a romantic feel, just a comfortable, soothing, and quiet one, because I knew he’d be whipped. He didn’t comment on it, but I think it did have the effect I was shooting for. He slunk peacefully into bed about an hour after dinner.

Well folks, sorry there’s no big crescendo here at the end of the newsletter. This last month really peaked at the middle, a flurry of activity during which we saw each other for 15 minutes each morning and--maybe--an hour each night. Derek looks forward to the roofing business slowing down, particularly so he can get back into the pool tournament mode again. Once my new staff is all trained and able to run things without my constant presence (in about a month), things will slow for me too, and I can go back to a “normal” 45-hour week. I’m actually trying to get myself to practice this year and play in a few pool tournaments too. We’ll keep you posted.