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Betz & Derek's Highlights of the Quarter
March 1 - May 31, 2004
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Topics: Pool Room Shenanigans Dinner You Go Girl Cha-ching Big Willie & The Monster Pizza Seinfeldism Journalistic Coup Favorite New Store Sporting Events Dorky Diatribe Tournament Finishes Strange Music Venue Insult (fake) Insult (real) Milestone Dorkanization Exasperated Statement Lyrical Prowess Friendly Gesture Couples Quality Time "Manuel" Labor Celebrity Sighting Celebrity Near-sighting New Pool friend Cool Idea Coincidence Sad Story Inflation Appreciated Nomenclature Conversations among the wealthy Roofing Statistics Best Day Urbanism Arts/Culture Partaking Confrontation New Word Wedding in Tennessee |
POOL ROOM SHENANIGANS OF THE QUARTER 1st place We went to a memorial service for a legendary old Detroit pool player who passed away in February (it was held at a pool hall, of course), and a fight broke out in the women’s bathroom between the alleged biological daughter of the deceased, and his adopted stepdaughter. There was friction in the air from the very beginning, because everyone who knew him--even those who knew him for several decades--thought that he had just one daughter. But out of nowhere, these other four women showed up for his funeral, claiming to be his biological daughters. Everyone was drinking way too much, and there seemed to be some sedative drugs thrown into the mix too. Drugs, alcohol, and paternity allegations are never a good mix. So I could just feel that something was in the air. It happened, of course, 5 minutes after I left to visit Angela. (All the good stuff happens 5 minutes after you leave). Two of the four alleged daughters cornered the adopted daughter in the bathroom, and started beating her up. Where’s Jerry Springer when you need him?
2nd place Someone got shot and killed at a pool hall in Detroit that Derek occasionally goes to. He is now forbidden from going there. (No resistance from him). Never mind that the shooter was looking for a very specific person, and that specific person was a drug dealer who had probably pissed off a lot of people, and no one else got hurt or was even threatened. Handguns are BAD. Haven't we learned anything from Michael Moore? By the way, we saw the trailer for Fahrenheit 9/11, and we can't wait to see it.
3rd place Talk about excitement! One night at our "regular" Thursday night pool tournament, there was major action going on in the back room. There are four tables back there where all the serious gamblers hang out. Derek was playing a game called One-pocket for $300 a game against another Detroit legend, "Jew Paul" (I'm not being culturally insensitive; that's really what he goes by), and theirs was the lowest-stakes table of the four. Five feet away, two other road players were in a heated match for $6,000!!!! And in the other corner, a diminutive sharpshooter from Sweden was playing against a local thug (creepy guy, can't stand him) for $1000 a game. There were over 100 people crowded into the room to watch. Derek ended up with about $1000 in his pocket at the end of the night. At closing time, his opponent tried to play the "I'm an old man and you took advantage of me" card to get Derek to go to an all-night gambling joint, but Derek declined. Actually, Derek glanced at me when Paul suggested it, and we exchanged a look that meant "Decline." Derek had been awake for over 22 hours at that point, and if he'd tried to stay up any longer, his winnings surely would have been whittled away to nothing...especially because Paul is renowned for his ability to stay awake for days on end.
I'm not a big fan of Paul's, and him playing the old man card is one of the most absurd things I've ever heard. It's like OJ's defense team playing the race card so their client could get away with murder. HE DID. He got away with murder because of his wealth and privilege. Paul has relieved Derek and countless other victims of hundreds and thousands of their hard-earned dollars on the pool table for many years. When he wants to play, he loudly insults you and needles you so everyone in the pool hall can hear, until you finally give in. Just because he's 78 now and his eyesight is failing doesn't mean that now we should feel sorry for him when he loses. As I see it, he's finally getting his due comeuppance. I shared my annoyance with another observer, Jim. Actually, it sounded more like, "I can't stand that motherf**ker." Not all old people are good people. Old hustlers are still hustlers. Jim said, "Aw, come on Betz. You can't hate someone just because you don't like his personality." Oh really? I can't think of a better reason not to like someone!
DINNER OF THE QUARTER 1st place:
Derek’s mom and step-dad returned from Florida in the end of April.
We had the whole family over for Mothers Day dinner.
We splurged on sirloins and salmon kabobs from Hiller's.
It was a lovely afternoon, and delicious food! We
vowed to meet every two weeks on Sunday for family dinner.
So far (as of June 20) we haven’t missed one yet.
This is something more families should vow to do….and actually do.
2nd place : We got together for Easter dinner at Kristin's. It was a great day. Kathy, Ric, Foster, Ally, and Mary Alice were also there. Here are the pics from the occasion (click to enlarge):
3rd place (tie): While in Washington DC for the ACUI conference (that was actually the tail end of last quarter), I met up with two former college roommates, Julie and Rachel, who live in DC. I got to see Julie's husband David again (whom I also knew from my days in East Quad at U of M) and meet Julie's two kids, Ann and Max. We had pizza at a nifty old brick restaurant downtown called "Matchbox." The meal was great, and the kids were very well-behaved and smart. If I was to have kids--and trust me, I haven't changed my mind on that--those are the kind of kids I would like to have.
3rd place (tie): The day after I returned from Washington DC, we met a friend of Derek's from high school and his wife (Dave & Kelly) for dinner at Benihana. Kelly, whom I'd met only once, many years ago, and gotten to know a little bit only recently via e-mail, surprised me with a pair of earrings made of glass that she MADE herself! We had a great time; I always do at Benihana. Who doesn't love being entertained with food? Between their schedules and our schedules, I don't know how soon we'll be able to get together with Dave and Kelly again, but we all had fun for those two precious hours at the grill.
‘YOU GO GIRL’ OF THE QUARTER The biggest happenin' of the quarter (for me, not Derek) was the ACUI Intercollegiate 9-Ball Championships in Boulder, Colorado on April 14-17. The tournament, the trip, the entire adventure were simply unforgettable. It was an enormous amount of work, especially for a volunteer gig, but when the event came together in such grand fashion, it was all worthwhile. I worked from 7AM until midnight those three days, running the tournament chart, scheduling matches, refereeing matches, and talking to the press.
After completion of the tournament, there was an awards presentation. As the Tournament Director, I was in charge of the program for the dinner. Our volunteer Head Referee (former Director of all league operations for the Billiard Congress of America, John Lewis), Laura Smith from the WPBA, and the Colorado Billiard Room Manager and Marketing Manager and I sat at the head table on the stage. Seated on the main floor were about 60 participants, parents, and guests. After dinner, I took the podium and handed out awards for “Best Break,” “Best Sportsman/woman,” “Shot of the tournament,” and finally the coveted real awards, third place through 1st place in each division. When that was all finished, I told them to all enjoy their last night in Boulder, what a great pleasure it had been to meet all of them, and thanked them for coming to the tournament, and the students gave me ....I'm still getting choked up thinking about it.....a STANDING OVATION!!! Over half of the students had played in the tournament last year. After recent experiences with Tournament Directors for this event, they didn’t necessarily have high hopes for a well-run event, but they appreciated that I knew what I was doing, and made it a memorable experience for them. It was one of the most rewarding moments of my career!
My only regret is that Derek was not able to go to Colorado with me. He would have LOVED it...especially the day after the tournament, when I got to drive up into the mountains with Mark, the Michigan State student who was representing our region (he finished 3rd in the main event!). The photo opps were plentiful, and the weather couldn't have been nicer. Mark was my "surrogate Derek" for the day. He posed for pictures with me and drove his half of the trek. It was a experience that both Mark and I raved about for weeks after.
CHA-CHING OF THE QUARTER 1st place Derek won $1400 at the Blue Diamond in Detroit.
2nd place Derek had the luck of the Irish on March 17-- a $6000 score with Big Willie (it was split between several people so it wasn’t as big of a deal as the $1400, which was all his). This also makes the list because it gives me an opportunity to tell one of my best stories…. "BIG WILLIE AND THE MONSTER PIZZA" You have probably never heard me refer to Big Willie before, but my "Big Willie & the Monster Pizza" story is one of people's favorites. You might wonder how Willie got his moniker. Well, first, get your mind out of the gutter. It has nothing to do with his penis. It's far less noble or interesting than that: he weighs about 500 pounds. Ever since he was a teenager, Willie has always had cash. He doesn't come from a wealthy family; he has just had an entrepreneurial mind from a very young age. Now in his early 30s, he is one of the most well-known "stake horses" around Detroit. When the gamblers are in town, Big Willie comes out of hiding. So here's how the story goes....about a decade ago, Big Willie was on the road with 2 or 3 of the young hustlers from Detroit. Willie stayed at the hotel while the two young bucks went out to get some pizza. At the restaurant, they saw a sign, much like the deal in "The Great Outdoors" with John Candy, saying "If you eat this 24-inch deep dish pizza, your family’s entire meal is free." The hustlers weren't interested in the free meal; they went straight to the owner and asked how much he was willing to bet. The owner felt pretty safe making a bet, since no one had ever successfully eaten the entire pizza before, though many had tried. Apparently they got him to bet a few hundred bucks, and then told him they'd be back in a few hours with their ringer. They headed back to the hotel to find Willie.
Willie, ever the businessman, grabbed a pen and paper, and asked for the specs. "Size?" "Round or square?" "Deep dish--how deep?" “Top crust?” He scratched down a few numbers, pondered it, and turned to the boys and said, "Sure, I'll do it. Just let me finish my dinner first." No lie!
They returned to the Pizza parlor, and by then a crowd had gathered. Willie had become a hero of sorts....but he still had to prove himself worthy. The skeptics in the crowd were soon to become believers. He started fast with the first slice, and never looked back. It took only a short while; Willie handled the pizza without so much as a belch or a bathroom break. After the applause subsided, he wiped his hands and face with the napkin, and leaned calmly back into his chair. He intertwined his knuckles behind his head, turned to the owner, and confidently asked, "Wanna go double or nothing?"
SEINFELDISM OF THE QUARTER Only die-hard Seinfeld fans will understand and appreciate this. We lay down after golf one Sunday afternoon for a nap, as we are wont to do on hot Sunday afternoons when there’s no golf on TV. Within seconds, Snooker joined us (as she is wont to do). She can’t rest by your feet or even on top of you; she has to lie as close to your head as she can. She often stretches herself so one paw touches mom and one paw touches dad. Sometimes, her face will be right next to one of our faces, and the other person gets....well, they get the other end. But she has to be right by your face; I think she must like feeling you breathe. After trying to adjust ourselves so we could all three fit comfortably, to no avail, (mind you, we have a king-size bed) Derek said, “If Snooker was a person, she’d be a close talker.” This reminds me of a funny story from several years ago….One lazy rainy morning we lounged in bed, drifting in and out of sleep. Suddenly I heard…ahem….a fart. I opened my eyes to see Snooker perched between me and Derek like she usually is. Her tail was poised in the air, leading me to believe she had lifted the tail with the express purpose of breaking wind. Barely awake and by now very confused, I focused beyond Snooker to Derek, 18 inches past her. He was holding her tail in the air and had the most devilish of all devilish grins on his face. It was the classic “Blame the Dog” excuse, but with a twist. Snooker had no idea what she’d just taken the blame for.
JOURNALISTIC COUP OF THE QUARTER I am now writing for Inside English every other month in exchange for free advertising. This sounded and felt like a great idea in February when it first started, but now it's not quite as appealing. A new lady bought the magazine, and since February there has been just one issue. It's supposed to be a monthly magazine. I'm afraid it may be going down the tubes, along with my free trade agreement.
FAVORITE NEW STORE OF THE QUARTER Hiller's grocery store has the best deli / meat / seafood department on the face of the earth. And their produce could go head to head with Whole Foods, at 25% less cost. It has become a Sunday ritual for us. The Hiller's family is our "peeps." In fact, we may convert to Judaism just for the brisket. (There's another vague Seinfeld reference in there, for you hard core fans).
SPORTING EVENTS OF THE QUARTER · Derek and Ricky went to the Pistons playoff game against New Jersey. The Pistons lost in triple overtime but went on to win the NBA CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!! Yeah baby!!!! · Derek went to two Red Wings playoff game with Ricky. At the second one, the Wings lost, and Yzerman suffered his potentially career-ending eye injury.
BETZ’S DORKY DIATRIBE OF THE QUARTER On July 23, 2001, I decided I was going to make strawberry jam. I know that was the day because it’s written on almost every empty plastic container in my cupboard. Strawberries were on sale for like a buck a pint, so I bought oodles and oodles of them. Well, I don’t know if I thought the berries would shrink when I jammed them or what (spatial relations are not one of my strengths), but I ended up with a freezerful of the stuff. Every single freezable container in the house was filled. In the freezer there was no space for even so much as an ice cube. It tasted fantastic, but I knew that it would go bad before Derek and I would ever eat all of it. I tried desperately to give it away. Anyone who came over, “Here, have some homemade jam!” At first my friends were happy, thinking, “Aw, Betz went and got all domestic and made jam!” But before long, they would say, “Please, Betz. Stop. I won’t eat that much toast in my entire life.” I tried to see if the cats would eat it, but they laughed at me.
Over the course of the next 2 years, the jam gradually dwindled to just a few containers, and eventually it was all gone. Once you’ve had freezer jam, which tastes like fresh strawberries off the vine (coated in sugar), the stuff in jars just can’t even begin to compare. And I was sad. More importantly, my bread was sad. Yogurt began calling out to me in the morning. “Eat me,” it said. The bread sat quietly in the wooden box with the rolltop desk cover.
So last summer I decided to make some peach jam. The results were not nearly as tasty, and it sort of looked like creamed corn. Most of it got washed down the garbage disposal. Let's face it--it was inedible. Life went on, and for the most part I was a happy, jamless American. I wiled away my mornings, eating bread products with margarine, cream cheese, and occasionally apple butter. But I always wished I had some more strawberry freezer jam.
So you probably stopped wondering why I’m telling this story about 18 sentences ago and just figured it was just another one of Betsy’s random rants. But there is a happy ending…or at least an ending (Thank GOODNESS). The other day, I cleaned out the freezer to make room. And right there, hiding behind a GLAD bowl of ill-fated gravy (“I’ll use some of these leftovers eventually” I thought as I put it in the freezer months before) was a shiny pink container marked “July 23, 2001.” And the heavens opened up, and there was much rejoicing. I was no longer sad. My toast was no longer sad. And the yogurt no longer called out to me. And again my Dutch Oven Honey White bread had its ideal companion, if only for a few more spoonfuls.
TOURNAMENT FINISH OF THE QUARTER March 20-21 was my biggest tournament finish of the season (3rd place) on the Michigan Women's 9-Ball Tour at the Shark's Club in Canton. I didn't finish so well in the last two events of the season, but I still managed to finish out the season in the top 10 (there are about 70 women on the tour). Not bad for having practiced about one hour a month between tournaments!
But let's just talk about the good tournament....I defeated Andrea 7-3, defending champion CJ 7-4, Lisa (new) 7-1, Sheri 7-6, then lost in the finals of the winner's bracket to tour leader Rachael 3-7, and Kelly 3-7, to finish in 3rd place. My tournament highlight was a length-of-the-table jump shot, shooting the cue ball out of the jaws of the pocket, leaping over an obstructing ball about 10 inches away. Rachael, who plays better than anyone on the tour and will probably be on the WPBA tour next year--meaning I have tremendous respect and admiration for her--said, “That looked like a TV shot!” I was quite flattered, especially because I’d hardly ever said two words to her, and didn’t even know she was watching.
One of my opponents, apparently feeling outclassed or something, decided to sink to the level of playing head games, asking Derek not to coach me. I almost laughed, because I didn't think she could possibly be serious. Derek was standing behind me, cheering me on as I had done for him in literally hundreds of tournament matches. I turned to him halfway through the match and asked him to get me some water. My opponent turned to us and said, "Please don't coach her. When you talk, I have no way of knowing if you're coaching or not." The accusation was disgusting. One, she was racking the balls at the time--we were not in the middle of a game-- so what sort of applicable coaching could he possibly have been giving me? Two, I have way too much pride to try to win a match on anything other than my own merit. She's known me for 15 years, and should know that cheating is simply not in my makeup. Finally, and most compellingly, I never listen to Derek's pool advice anyway! I'm too stubborn!
It was a total shark maneuver--she tried to use off-the-table tactics to throw me off my game so she would win. This kind of behavior is highly frowned upon by legitimate players, but in some circles it is rampant. The worst part is, it almost worked. The match went 6-6. She really had me "cracked," as pool lingo states it. But I bore down, played two consecutive safeties (defensive shots), and she missed the kick (didn't hit the ball she was required to hit), giving me ball in hand with the following table lie:
The rack was not easy to run out; four of the 6 balls left on the table were "sewed up," meaning there was no pocket into which they had a clear path. If I had tried to run the balls in order, I would have probably ended up breaking the balls apart for her to run out and win the match. Instead, I pocketed the 9-ball and won the game on the "carom" shot as sketched above. I used the cue ball to contact the four ball first, and the cue ball ricocheted or "caromed" off of the four into the 9-ball, sending it to the upper left corner pocket. I can't remember a more rewarding win in many, many years.
At that same tournament, Derek bought raffle tickets and won a $500 cue. Lucky shit! He left a couple days later for a big tournament and pool Expo in Philadelphia at midnight. Every time he goes to the East Coast for a tournament, he has a bad experience. The trouble this time was that he drove all the way there, only to be told that he could not enter the tournament because pre-registration was necessary. This might sound reasonable, but in professional pool that is simply not the standard. In fact, we'd never heard of such a thing before. I talked with a bunch of other players, and the consensus is that the promoter was basically siphoning every penny he could out of the participants, spectators, and vendors. One player relayed a story to me to demonstrate how she'd been ripped off too. She won the women's division of the tournament in 2003. Each player anted up $75 to get in, and there were over 120 players, for a kitty of about $9000. Her 1st-place winnings: a whole $800. He probably only paid out half of what he took in entry fees. This is a scam!!!! The whole weekend was a rip-off, right down to the hotel and surrounding food establishments. It's doubtful he'll return next year.
STRANGE MUSIC VENUE OF THE QUARTER I met Ciara & Niamh at Pot Belly’s Sandwiches in Ann Arbor for music. Yes, I said POT BELLY’S. Ciara’s friend, Catherine, and her boyfriend and one other guy, got a “gig” there every Sunday night. They play/sing for 2 hours, and in return get $ 5.00 plus free dinner. They're not quitting their day jobs just yet. J The dinner was great, the music was great, and the venue…..well, it was just weird. I scored a very cool gardening book (lots of color pictures--a "must" for gardening) for $6.00 at Borders on my walk back to the car. INSULT OF THE QUARTER (from a friend) I worked a half day one Tuesday, then met two of the three other Little Stinkers (my bowling team) for lunch at Elaine’s house. This was the fourth or fifth “last supper” we had with Elaine, expecting that she’d be leaving for Sweden any day now, having told us in OCTOBER that they were moving to Stockholm. She finally left in late May, after 6 months of delays from GM. Look for a full update in the next newsletter. During lunch we were talking about hair....how women with curly hair wish it was straight, and women with straight hair wish it was curly.....and how hard it is to find a good hairstylist that you can afford. Betsy: I sure wish I was a natural blonde. Elaine: “You’re not blonde?” Kathy: “No, look at her roots, for God’s sake!” Kathy felt really bad, but I thought it was freakin’ hilarious!!!! Here's a picture of our whole team, another day that we got together for lunch at Joe's Crab Shack (click to enlarge):
INSULT OF THE QUARTER (from someone who really meant it) This was a first....a colleague at work called me a jerk. We had been working on a program (a conference for students) together, and in the final days before the conference, she went on vacation, leaving the bulk of the planning and organizing to the rest of us on the committee. I called her out on it, particularly since the concept was hers to begin with. She was highly offended that I took the matter to her supervisor, and she (maturely) called me a jerk during registration for the program.
Needless to say, I don't think we'll be collaborating on any projects anytime soon. Also, Derek was supposed to be installing a new roof on the house that she and her partner had bought last Fall. I guess he won't be getting that job now either. But do I have any regrets? Absolutely not! She is a bona fide slacker, and the only reason she took offense is that I called her out on it.
MILESTONE OF THE QUARTER Angela bought a new house! We visited three or four times during the quarter. Once for my first viewing, then to help her move from the apartment to the permanent residence on April 10, then for her Housewarming party on May 22. When I was shifting a futon around in the living room, Stanley (Ange’s dad) made me laugh when he said that sticking out my tongue while moving the futon was optional.
DORKANIZATION OF THE QUARTER At work I am now known as "The Dorkanizer." I’m the dork that organizes all the staff get-togethers and can pull out a document from 1991 at a moment's notice. Hence, "dorkanizer." Some might call it “anal retentive.” One of the many facets of this affliction is that I like to document everything (as evidenced by this newsletter, which, by the way, you might think is very long, but it is really only about 1/4th of everything that really happened). Since I took up gardening a few years ago, I keep a garden journal. It started off as a little notebook, but it's up to four notebooks and a 3-ring binder now, including photos, drawings, and meticulous notes. This year I decided to make this journaling a little easier. I measured out every one of my gardens and sketched them to scale on grid-lined contractor's paper, then photocopied the sketches so I can draw in the plants and flowers every few weeks, so I can track how their growth compares to last year, and so I know what to plant to fill in blank spaces next year. I’m also thinking I’ll make a binder and keep an alphabetical list of each plant (in each garden) so that I can just write in numbers, growth charts, and data next to the names rather than a narrative like I do now. Maybe next year. If I tried it now, there wouldn't be any time for planting flowers! Anyway, click here to go look at my new Garden Page. See pictures of my gardens!
My name is Betsy, and I am a journal-aholic. EXASPERATED STATEMENT OF THE QUARTER Derek had been working feverishly on his air compressor motor for several nights in a row, preparing for the hardcore roofing season to hit. Until then he had only been doing a couple small jobs a week, but he knew things would be picking up very soon. After the third frustrating night of working until dark to get it back together, he stormed into the house, “Is EVERYTHING in the world spring loaded?!?!?!” he bellowed.
LYRICAL PROWESS OF THE QUARTER 1st place: I was making a going-away CD for Elaine. She made a special request for “that song….by that group.” I asked if she could be a little more specific, and she gave me this to go on: “That song that goes de la, de la la” Mind you, I did not have the benefit of her singing it to me, even poorly. She literally typed the words “de la, de la la,” and I somehow figured out that she was talking about Outkast’s Hey Ya. I added it to “Betz’s funky eclectic dance music” mix, which is getting rave reviews. In return, she burned me a copy of “Bette Midler sings Rosemary Clooney’s Classics.” Two thumbs way up.
2nd place: Marty, our pool friend who does all those amazing celebrity impersonations, was over one night watching movies with us. We were talking about how impressive it is that Marty can remember dialog from movies verbatim, even if he's only seen a movie once. He really is like Rain Man in many regards; it's kind of spooky. Anyway, Marty said that he knows all of the words to "The Edmund Fitzgerald," and I said this wasn't nearly as big of a deal as memorizing movie dialog. Most people know all the words to their favorite song. "Galileo" by Indigo Girls is mine, and I could sing it from start to finish as long as no one is listening. Derek excitedly announced, “I know all the words to Elton John’s 'Saturday Night’s All Right for Fighting',” and proceeded to start singing it and dancing. Marty and I were both in stitches for at least 5 minutes after that.
FRIENDLY GESTURE OF THE QUARTER 1st place: Our cable stopped working. Something important was going to be on TV that night. Stanley drove all the way from Farmington to inspect the system for 30 seconds, then plug a video input cable back into the back of the high definition box. “That’ll be $100 please.” Why didn’t Comcast, in my 20 minutes with them on the phone earlier that day, even suggest that this might be a problem? And before you think "Betz, that was a blond moment; you should have checked it yourself," trust me, I did. I am actually quite capable with TV/VCR/DVD connecting and reconnecting. But with this new high-def system, it's not that simple. There are no less than 24 input/output connections, and they have to be JUST SO. And not all of the cables should be plugged in--that's the tricky party for me. Some of them just dangle there, with no real purpose because we don't have the components for them. But the Comcast person should have suggested it. Isn't that what they get paid to do? Anyway, Stanley....THANK YOU for being such a generous friend. We owe you dinner! 2nd place: Donna got stuck working a double after her first day back from vacation (a day she really wasn’t supposed to have had to work at all, but went into the office to catch up on e-mail). Just as she was heading out, the night supervisor called in to report that her daughter was in the Emergency Room, and she didn't know when or if she'd be able to make it to work. Unfortunately, if you're visible around here, that means you're on duty, even if it's a scheduled vacation day. So Donna ended up having to work it. I guiltily headed home around 7:00, but after dinner I gathered up two Survivor VHS tapes and two pints of Ben & Jerry's, and headed for the Union. I was actually kind of looking forward to it! But alas, she had just left by the time I arrived. “MANUEL LABOR” QUOTE OF THE QUARTER There are about 8-10 guys from the Honduras who sometimes work as laborers for Derek. Only one or two of them speak English very well; some none at all; and most of them understand a few key words. Derek, on the phone: “Hi Manuel. Si, you want work? Si, Monday at the Shop. 8:00. Si. Adios, Manuel.” Hangs up phone...then says, “I have no idea which Manuel that was.” COUPLES QUALITY TIME OF THE QUARTER Despite not really being interested, I cheered on Phil Mickelson at the Masters all afternoon with Derek. He won, woohoo. Add it to the long list of things I don’t really care too much about, but for Derek’s sake I faked it. CELEBRITY SIGHTING OF THE QUARTER I saw Leah Thompson (Back to the Future, Caroline in the City) at the airport in Denver when I was on the way back from the ACUI Championships. She was very small and skinny, and in a hurry. But very pretty, even with no makeup on. I tried to make eye contact but she was a pro at avoiding it. CELEBRITY NEAR-SIGHTING OF THE QUARTER After one of his two Red Wings playoff games he attended, Derek came home, claiming that he would soon be playing a round of golf with Darren McCarty and Brett Hull. Ricky had introduced him to Darrell, a professional poker player who knows Darren McCarty because of his liking for Texas Hold 'Em during the off season. My first thought: I’ll believe it when I see it. Lo and behold, Darrell finally set it up for the Friday of Memorial weekend. Brett was iffy, but Darren was definitely going to be there. We even postponed our departure for Tennessee to accommodate it. Derek arrived at the scheduled tee time, and no one was there. Darrell either didn't have room in the foursome and was too ashamed to admit it, or simply didn't communicate very well. Either way, the opportunity of the year slipped through his hands. It's probably better…..having a “Derek,” a “Darren,” and a “Darrel” in the same foursome would have probably been bad Newhart karma anyway.
NEW POOL FRIEND OF THE QUARTER After struggling through two matches in one of my bad tournament finishes, I chatted with CJ, who had just beaten me 7-4. She was giving me a pep-talk, always respectful and supportive whether she wins or loses. I played on a team with her for one tournament several years ago, and got a good vibe from her then, but then I didn't see her for many years. But I have gotten to know her more since the MW9B tour began. I mentioned in the last newsletter that I really have a lot of respect for her game. Not only is she a very committed, solid player, she promotes pool the right way to grade school and high school kids. And when you play a match against her, there are no head games that go along with so many other players. In that conversation, I realized that CJ likes me as much as I like her. Awww.....it made me feel all warm and fuzzy!
COOL IDEA OF THE QUARTER I am determined to have three toilet paper dispensers in the guest bathroom, each with a different genre of toilet paper. I think this would really show our guests that we care about their comfort. And wouldn't it be a great conversation piece for parties? Derek laughed when I suggested it, but is admittedly too lazy to do the installation. I was also deterred by the price of toilet paper dispensers (didn’t see one for under $30). Who knew? COINCIDENCE OF THE QUARTER We found out that cable channel Comedy Central celebrated its 13th birthday too, in the exact same month as our 13th anniversary (April 24). Cool! Of all the cable stations to be aligned with our relationship, that would be one of our top picks. Animal Planet would probably be the top choice. Com Central celebrated their milestone with great programming; we celebrated ours with chicken teriyaki at one of the townie restaurants we had never tried yet, Yotsuba. We weren’t very adventurous, trying the teriyaki when there were all sorts of other Japanese specialties on the menu. It was good though!
SAD STORY OF THE
QUARTER There have been three deaths in my little hometown in the last couple months, and one terminal diagnosis. There are only about 100 people living in the area, so this is quite astonishing that so many have died in such a short span. Matt Szukalowski and Gerald Bruce lost their lengthy battles with cancer. The father of one of my best childhood friends, Jim Roberts, who was for several years like an adoptive father to me, died unexpectedly of stroke in late March. The silver lining to this cloud is that I re-established contact with his daughter (one of my best childhood friends) after not seeing or really speaking to each other for a number of years.
These three men that passed were all in their 60s or 70s and had lived relatively long, full lives, but the saddest story is 15 year old Mark DeShambo, who was diagnosed with advanced brain cancer after passing out at a basketball game. To my knowledge, he is still fighting, but he is blind in one eye now and the cancer continues to spread to other parts of his brain. At least he is home with his family, rather than having to spend every minute of his life in a hospital bed. INFLATION OF THE QUARTER As Commencement weekends tend to be for one who works at a public university of 38,000 students, the weekend of May 1 was exceptionally busy for me. On Friday, for example, I arrived at around 6:30AM, inflated and delivered almost 1000 balloons (with help from students) throughout the course of the day, then worked in Billiards until 8:45PM. APPRECIATED NOMENCLATURE OF THE QUARTER At the deli at Kroger…. Derek to the deli lady: “A pound and a half of the roast beef please” Betz: “Honey, a pound and a HALF? We’ll never eat that much before it goes bad.” Derek: “I have taken lunch to work every day--that's 5 sandwiches a week.” Betz: “OK, but I don't really even eat roast beef on sandwiches. Why don’t we instead get a half-pound of three or four different kinds of meat?” Derek, annoyed: “Can’t I make a decision once in a while?” As Betz walked away to acquire bananas, leaving him alone so as not to start a fight… Derek to deli lady: “Better make it just three-quarters of a pound. I’m getting some heat from The Commander.”
CONVERSATIONS THAT I WILL NEVER BE AN ACTIVE PART OF: Like every year, I helped out at Angela’s fundraiser auction in May. This year I did walk-in registration, where the rich people pay to get in. I overheard one socialite complimenting another on her very fashionable knee-length jacket. “Is that Pam’s?” “No, Dolce.” By "Pam's," I surmised, she meant Pamela Dennis. And of course, "Dolce" means Dolce and Gabbana. Note to self for next year: bring a normal-to-filthy rich dictionary. While I sampled finger food with the rich and intentionally un-famous (which is more than ample payment for the volunteerism--the food was to die for!), Derek worked from 7:30AM-10PM. They finished the job with the headlights of the trucks. Poor guy wasn’t even home when I got back from the auction!
ROOFING STATISTIC OF THE QUARTER As of the end of May, Derek's crew had completed 42 jobs for the season. Same statistic for last year at this time: 18 The boy is staying BUSY!!!!!
BEST DAY OF THE QUARTER May 6, hands down. · I had a very productive meeting with my new boss, Susan, and the other members of the Arts & Programming staff, the first all-department meeting in almost two years, since we've been without a Director! It was extremely interesting--even motivating-to learn about what other programmers have been doing, and be acknowledged for some of the things I’ve been doing. · The Michigan Union Director's reaction to my suggestion to host the BCA/ACUI (Junior and intercollegiate championship) tournaments jointly in 2005: "Yeah, Go, Betsy!" I had feared much worse. · My assistant, who had never really cut the mustard since she started two years ago, resigned. This meant I wouldn’t have to go through the extensive efforts required to fire her this summer, which was definitely going to happen. The response of two other co-workers, when they learned about it, was a high-five. · My article and photos were approved and accepted for Inside Pool, a national pool magazine with circulation in the six figures. · It was a good hair day! · Someone slid an envelope dated 1988 under my office door. I knew immediately what it was. In my freshman semester at U of M, I took a journalism class. One of our first assignments was to write a mini-biography about someone in the class that we'd never met. My partner on this program Brian from Westland. I hadn't seen him in years, then one day he dropped by the Billiards Room, back at U of M at the age of 31 for graduate school. He asked if I was still dating a racecar driver, which sent me into a fit of giggles. What a different life I had when I was 17! He said he still had that paper somewhere, and if he found it he'd give it to me so I could have a laugh. I had long since forgotten about it. It took him a while, but he dropped it off for me the day he left Ann Arbor, having finished his MBA at the Business School. It kept me entertained--and quietly embarrassed at my naivety when I was 17--for several days after that. · Rupert made it to Final 4 on Survivor
What more could a girl ask for??? URBANISM OF THE QUARTER Snoop Dogg hosted Saturday Night Live, and for almost a whole day afterwards, everything that Derek said ended in “izzle.”
ARTS/CULTURE PARTAKING OF THE QUARTER 1st place: I scored four free tickets to see Harry Connick, Jr. on May 10, through connections at work. Derek and I were to go with Elaine and John (yet another going-away party!), but Derek had to work late. So neighbor Kathy tagged along instead. I asked Kathy how long it’d been since she’d gone to a concert, expecting an answer in the 10-15 years range. I was shocked to hear her response, “Probably over 30 years”!!!! At that moment, Elaine and I vowed to get Kathy out of the house more. The concert started off slow. Harry wore jeans and a t-shirt-- little too informal considering that the entire 18-piece big band was in tuxes. It seemed a little awkward, almost as if they were improvising. But after a few songs, the talent of all the musicians really knocked our socks off. The drummer was particularly astonishing. He played a 7-minute solo piece using drumsticks and everything on the stage except for his drums. It was fun and funky and informal, yet so well put together. That stage was loaded with talent, and Harry sure can work a crowd. I still think it was a poor decision to have Grace meet Leo and get married (Will & Grace), but I no longer fault Harry for that. :-)
2nd place: I learned how to make bead jewelry with Barb. In my first session I made two pairs of earrings and one necklace. It's great fun, but the last thing I need is another addiction. I think I'll stick to scrapbooking and gardening. I sink enough money into those two hobbies, thank you very much.
CONFRONTATION OF THE QUARTER Many weeks ago, I raced to return two movies before the midnight deadline. I missed every traffic light, but made it there with two minutes to spare. However, the two young men working inside were apparently going by a different clock. One of them came to the door to argue with me through the glass (rather than just taking the movies like they usually do, even if you get there past midnight), but eventually he finally opened the doors and took them from me. As I left, I got this sinking feeling that he was not going to check them in until the morning. I stopped in the next morning, and I was right. I left a note, but was advised that I’d have to speak to a manager, and for weeks I was unable to be there when she was on duty. After a while, I just decided to give up and pay the exorbitant late fees. It felt like it was too late to try to argue (over a month later).
But as luck would have it, both the Manager and the young man in question, whose name I discovered was Julian, were working the next time Derek and I stopped in for movies. I won't bore you with the exact words (it was a good ten-minute discussion), but it was a fantastic argument. Neither of us raised our voices, and it was very rational, but I totally outwitted, outplayed, and outlasted him. I didn't even bother to argue about whether it was before midnight or after midnight. That could not be proved one way or another, and clocks are all different. My assertion was that it was CLOSE to midnight, and if he was going to charge me the late fees anyway, he should have given me the opportunity to take the movies home. We hadn't even watched one of them yet, so for the extra $3.79, I think I deserved the privilege of taking the movies back. Secondly, I argued that we've been loyal customers of that store for as long as it's been there, and if someone is still inside the store, even if it's after midnight, they still take your movies and don't charge the late fees. His lame-ass defense was that it was against his principles. Riiiiiiigghhhhtttt. Principles.
The irony is that after all that, they agreed to take the late fees off of my account, and when they pulled it up on the computer, it appears that the clerk on duty "the morning after" had taken them off himself. So my argument was for naught. But at least I won.
NEW WORD OF THE QUARTER We'd bumped into an old pool friend, Howard, at the garden center. We were pleasantly surprised to see him there, and learn that he now has a landscaping service. When we first met Howard, he aspired to be a professional pool player. But due to a noticeable lack of pro-caliber talent, that never panned out. For the last 10 years, as far as we knew, he was a drug dealer, dabbling in pimpitude, who was always saying he was starting a new business. But the nature of his "business" was always quite clear.
The whole encounter lasted less than 5 minutes, but it gave us gossip fodder for weeks to come. When Howard introduced his girlfriend, it was obvious that because we know Howard through pool, she thought we were scum. Howard was going on about how he doesn't play pool at all anymore. His woman chimed in, "It's all work and family stuff now." Derek, not known for being couth, chuckled and said, "Yeah, Howard, how long is that going to last?" The girlfriend was highly offended, and snapped, "It's been over a year now!" OK lady, we've known him for 15 years. Trust us, it won't last. Every time we see him, he's got a new woman, a new baby's momma, and a new "business." Even if the landscaping thing works out--and for his sake, I truly hope it does--I'll bet any money that YOU won't be around in three years.
In the car on the way home, we talked about how she looked down toward us because of pool, yet it seems clear to us that she is a former....ahem.....client of Howard's. She had the telltale signs of a former crack user, including, as Derek pointed out, acne. He laughed so hard he nearly drove off the road when I referred to this bad skin as “crackne”.
For a list of REAL words, go to my Good Words! page.
WEDDING OF THE QUARTER We drove to Tennessee over Memorial weekend for my former boss, Alana's wedding. It was a lovely getaway, although I regretfully had to miss my cousin Scott's graduation party. (Sorry, Cuz! See you in about a week!) En route to Nashville, Derek took me to his favorite restaurant in Louisville, where he goes for that big tournament every year. He raved about the place, Deke's Tavern, every year, and it was no disappointment. I tried a new item on their menu, an open faced roast beef sandwich, and Derek had his standard giant salad with sliced chicken breasts on top. We would have loved to spend more time in Louisville, but time just wouldn't allow. We had a wedding to get to, 5 hours away!
We arrived in Nashville with two hours to spare, not knowing that we would gain an hour because of the time change. We took a dip in the hotel pool and got to the ceremony 10 minutes early, despite an ill-fated Mapquest adventure through 10 miles of dirt road vaguely reminiscent of "Deliverance." We considered turning back a dozen times, but we got there in one piece and on time.
The wedding was one of the most unique I've ever attended. The ceremony and reception were in an airplane hangar out in the middle of nowhere. And I come from the middle of nowhere, so believe me, I know whereof I speak! Alana's dad's ultra-lite plane, the normal occupant of the hangar, was parked out back. The bride emerged from an RV parked next to the hangar. She wore her mom's wedding dress. I sincerely applaud her for not sweating, considering that it was almost 90 degrees, and the dress had long sleeves.
After the ceremony, there was a live bluegrass band during the reception. The wall behind the cakes was decorated with a fabulous parachute, and everything was as casual as casual can be, yet still elegant. Guests stuffed ourselves with fried chicken, pulled BBQ pork sandwiches, green beans, and homemade bread and butter. Talk about comfort food! Derek stuffed himself instead with beer, so I insisted on a slightly premature departure before he crossed over the line from "giddy" to "memorable." Chances are we'd never see any of those people again, except for the bride and groom of course, but I've lived through a few too many drunken episodes (only a very few of them Derek). I've become highly proactive and preventative.
The day after the wedding, we headed to downtown Nashville to find something to do, but we arrived there Sunday around 11:00. It was as if they had shut down the whole city to film a movie or something. There were hardly any cars on the streets, and we'd see one person every block or so. "What the heck is going on?" Then I remembered: we were in the bible belt. Everyone was in church! So we drove out of town, looking for Belle Meade Plantation....again, CLOSED until afternoon. Derek convinced me to go golfing with him instead. Under different circumstances I would have launched into my standard "we're on vacation; you can golf ("pool" can be used interchangeably) anytime at home!" argument, but everything we tried to do was closed. We'd tried. I rode along in the cart and kept score. It didn't suck.
After golf, we drove twice through a wealthy neighborhood by the golf course. There were all these stunning, really old plantation homes, and then BAM!, this weird-looking, ultra-modern, gigantic geometric home. From one end to the other was easily over 300 feet, probably more. It had to be one of the biggest homes in Nashville (click to enlarge).
We finally made it to the Belle Meade plantation for a tour of the mansion, but honestly, after some of the homes we'd just seen, it was a bit of a disappointment as mansions go.
Nonetheless, we went on the tour, soaked up some history, and headed back to Dayton that night to stay with Bones and Cathie. We hadn't seen them in quite a while, so even though we arrived late at night, it was nice to visit. And we sure appreciated their hospitality, considering that we'd only be able to spend a few hours with them.
En route to Dayton, we narrowly escaped some major tornados that passed through the area. There were tornado and severe storm warnings all through the night. The skies opened up just in time for a nice, albeit wet, round of golf on Memorial Day. Cathie and I joined the boys at the clubhouse for lunch, and then Derek and I drove the final 3-hour leg of the journey that afternoon. Ratso welcomed me home by biting me on the hand.
And so, that's what's been going on at Munger Road for the last few months. Hope you have a GREAT summer, and as always, I'd love to hear from you!
Preview for next quarter: · Derek's 45th birthday party: "Take me out to the Ballgame" · Betz's family reunion and cousin Tara's wedding in the Yoop. · Possible return visit to San Francisco. · A visit from Mom & David?
Other pages on Betz's website that are new or recently updated, and you might like to check out: · Garden · Derek & Betz's Movie Ratings
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